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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Reported Quotes
Funny Quotes about Reported

Let these funny Reported Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy


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A reporter is always concerned with tomorrow.
There's nothing tangible of yesterday.
All I can say I've done is
agitate the air ten or fifteen minutes
and then boom - it's gone.
- Edward R. Murrow

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie


 

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.
- John Wooden

I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't know who my grandfather was;
I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
- Abraham Lincoln

I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor.
Do you know your next door neighbor?
- Mother Teresa

Truth is always in harmony with herself,
and is not concerned chiefly to reveal the justice
that may consist with wrong-doing.
- Henry David Thoreau

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
- John Wooden

Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
- Oprah Winfrey

Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

Yesterday is dead. Tomorrow is a dream.
Today - each today - is where the action is
where all of life occurs.
Today IS your life - your only life.
Life today to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is no limit to what a man can do
or where he can go,
if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
- Robert Woodruff

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again.
- Joseph Campbell

Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

We are now at a point where we must educate our children
in what no one knew yesterday,
and prepare our schools for what no one knows yet.
- Margaret Mead

Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict
between thinking and feeling.
- Carl Jung

He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Errors of opinion may be tolerated
where reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Where there is no vision, there is no hope.
- George Washington Carver

Follow your instincts.
That's where true wisdom manifests itself.
- Oprah Winfrey

If your home is not a place where you can truly
kick-back and be yourself - both physically and emotionally -
consider making some changes in your way-of-life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir

The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Do what you can,
with what you have,
where you are.
- Theodore Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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