Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Whoever Quotes
Funny Quotes about Whoever

Let these funny Whoever Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

Whoever does not regard what he has
as most ample wealth, is unhappy,
though he be master of the world.
- Epictetus

Love is an act of faith,
and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
- Erich Fromm

Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein

Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
- Anne Frank


 

Nothing is more valuable than your self respect.
When you lose respect for yourself, you have lost everything.
Whatever it takes, and whoever you upset,
do what you know - deep inside - is the right thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen

We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

Know that where there is love, nothing is missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot


Thank you for visiting: Funny Whoever Quotes - Funny Quotes about Whoever.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.