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Let these funny Missing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning
I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
- Winston Churchill
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
Bad times have a scientific value.
These are occasions a good learner would not miss.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]
For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is a belief a perception of the five senses,
or is it a perception of emotional feeling?
Is it better to say "I sense" and/or "I feel"?
Is it better to say " I know" than "I believe"?
Is belief based on experience or on a idea?
My thinking is that belief/believing is a very missed used word.
- Anonymous
It is a better thing to weigh and measure priorities
in the illuminating light of your own mission
than to have your activities formed by the
impressions and expectations of others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho
I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington
If we fail to plan, we merely bob helplessly -
like a cork on the sea of life.
If we resist whatever life delivers to us,
we create untold misery for ourselves.
If we act with vision and commitment,
and then accept whatever Spirit provides,
we live a life of purpose and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes
Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Expectation (demand) is always a cause of suffering.
Rather than "expecting" to be repaid
when we "loan" something to someone,
consider the "loans" we make to be forward payments
for the "loans" we received from
our ancestors, nurturers and others.
Request that any "loan" that we make be repaid FORWARD,
when the recipient is able,
and then completely forget about the "loan."
It is no longer our business if, when, or how
the "loan" is repaid - or is not repaid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion -
I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrence of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played any role
in any of the events of my life is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein
ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes
Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live.
- Epictetus
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
- Publilius Syrus
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
Don't believe me,
don't believe yourself,
and don't believe anyone else.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes
Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer
Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka
Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply
about what you believe in.
When you stumble, keep faith.
When you're knocked down, get right back up.
And never listen to anyone who says
you can't or shouldn't go on.
- Hilary Clinton
I have been all things unholy.
If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
- St. Francis of Assisi
When I admire the wonders of a sunset
or the beauty of the moon,
my soul expands in the worship of the creator.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A few minutes ago every tree was excited,
bowing to the roaring storm,
waving, swirling, tossing their branches
in glorious enthusiasm like worship.
But though to the outer ear these trees
are now silent, their songs never cease.
- John Muir
Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy,
to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter,
and to lead but not manipulate.
- William Arthur Ward
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
Blessed is he who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed.
- Alexander Pope
If I choose to bless another person,
I will always end up feeling more blessed.
- Marianne Williamson
That I was born to this circle - I am blessed.
That I choose to stand in this circle - I am proud.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.