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Funny Child Quotes
Funny Quotes about Child

Let these funny Child Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Always end the name of your child with a vowel,
so that when you yell, the name will carry.
- Bill Cosby


 

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:
take it or leave it.
- Buddy Hackett

A child of five would understand this.
Send someone to fetch a child of five.
- Groucho Marx

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational
act that two people in love can commit.
- Bill Cosby

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Nothing separates the generations more than music.
By the time a child is eight or nine,
he has developed a passion for his own music that is
even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
- Bill Cosby

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

Jealousy is a child of selfishness and distrust.
- Mourning Dove

Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the small child,
and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential,
and fight for your dreams.
- Ashley Smith

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Adventure is the child of courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have no hostility to nature, but a child's love to it.
I expand and live in the warm day like corn and melons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly
what their child is up to all the time.
- Barbara Bush

Don't prepare the path for the child,
prepare the child for the path.
- Anonymous

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant
intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
- Sigmund Freud

In automobile terms, the child supplies the power but
the parents have to do the steering.
- Benjamin Spock

I'm not materialistic.
I believe in presents from the heart,
like a drawing that a child does.
- Victoria Beckham

There was never a child so lovely
but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less
of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday.
- Thornton Wilder

Touch a scientist and you touch a child.
- Ray Bradbury

I would love a family.
I'm at the age where the wish for a child gets stronger.
But who knows.
- Cameron Diaz

If the money we donate helps one child or can ease the pain of one parent,
those funds are well spent.
- Carl Karcher

Consciously adopt the mindset of a young child,
to whom all of life is a grand adventure.
Life is your playground.
Fashion grand castles and sweeping boulevards,
defeat fire-breathing dragons,
leap tall buildings in a single bound.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

Maybe life isn't really as complicated
as we make it out to be.
Perhaps a simple child-like attitude would create
a less stressful and happier life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed.
If you truly eradicated it in a child,
he would grow up to be an eggplant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Child-rearing is my main interest now.
I'm a hands-on father.
- Sean Penn

I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.
- James Broughton

There are only two things a child will share willingly;
communicable diseases and its mother's age.
- Benjamin Spock

No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman

A child miseducated is a child lost.
- John F. Kennedy

A man growing old becomes a child again.
- Sophocles

If you can give your child only one gift,
let it be enthusiasm.
- Bruce Barton

An honest man is always a child.
- Socrates

A liberal is a man or a woman or a child who looks forward to a better day,
a more tranquil night, and a bright,
infinite future.
- Leonard Bernstein

One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner

Love is staying up all night with a sick child -
or a healthy adult.
- David Frost

No matter how old we become, we can still call them
'Holy Mother' and 'Father' and put a child-like trust in them.
- Desmond Morris

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children,
as they are already stretched and pulled to such a
length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
- Robert Benchley

What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small,
so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
- Marjorie Holmes

All my life through, the new sights
of Nature made me rejoice like a child.
- Marie Curie

The child is father of the man.
- William Wordsworth

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a
miracle by which what is broken is made whole again,
what is soiled is made clean again.
- Dag Hammarskjold

Miss Child is never bashful with butter.
- Phil Donahue

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
- Ambrose Bierce

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by
their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

Generally speaking, historically in this country,
the care of a child has been thought of as female business.
- Eddie Bernice Johnson

How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board.
It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of
an oak which he has planted.
- Voltaire

The poet is one who is able to keep
the fresh vision of the child alive.
- Anais Nin

I had no idea that mothering my own child would be
so healing to my own sadness from my childhood.
- Susie Bright

I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
- Miguel de Unamuno

Don't limit a child to your own learning,
for he was born in another time.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Parents should not smoke in order to discourage their kids from smoking.
A child is more likely to smoke when they have been
raised in the environment of a smoker.
- Christy Turlington

You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature.
By and by love becomes not a relationship,
it becomes a state of your being.
Not that you are in love - now you are love.
- Osho

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it.
Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return.
Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?
- Epictetus

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure about you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
- Marianne Williamson

We fear the unknown,
perhaps more than we fear anything else,
and yet we are, at heart, adventurers.
We seek to expand our realm of knowledge and dominion.
Perhaps we are attempting to overcome and crush the unknown,
but our duel with the unknown is such a one-sided clash
that we must know in our hearts
that our adventure is no more than a child's game.
Perhaps we hope that the unknown
is like the darkness of a cave
and that the brief light of our adventurer's candle
can illuminate the entire cave.
Nonetheless, the path of the adventurer
is a path of joy, while the way of fear is one of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.