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Funny Duck Quotes
Funny Quotes about Duck

Let these funny Duck Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims
like a duck and quacks like a duck,
I call that bird a duck.
- James Whitcomb Riley


 

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck,
we have at least to consider the possibility that we
have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
- Douglas Adams

Singing songs like 'The Man I Love' or 'Porgy' is no
more work than sitting down and eating Chinese roast duck,
and I love roast duck.
- Billie Holiday

What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander
but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken,
the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen.
- Alice B. Toklas


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Don't quack like a duck, soar like an eagle.
- Ken Blanchard

Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike.
But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its
neck like the butt of a pistol and shout "Bang!"
- George Will

Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very,
very long time.
- Jules Renard

To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit.
A duck hears also.
- Igor Stravinsky

Being born in a duck yard does not matter,
if only you are hatched from a swan's egg.
- Hans Christian Anderson

It was important for me to duck out of the fast and
furious life I'd been living as a pop star.
I was in a different mood.
- Cat Stevens

Be like a duck.
Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
- Michael Caine

I'm the lamest lame duck there could be.
- George C. Wallace

That's my gift.
I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back.
If it's not positive, I didn't hear it.
If you can overcome that, fights are easy.
- George Foreman

Painting is sometimes like those recipes where you
do all manner of elaborate things to a duck,
and then end up putting it on one side and only using the skin.
- Lucian Freud

I look like a duck.
It's the way my mouth curls up, or my nose tilts up.
I should have played Howard the Duck.
- Michelle Pfeiffer

If you keep your feathers well oiled the water of criticism
will run off as from a duck's back.
- Ellen Henrietta Swallow Richards

You learn real early to make a film and then duck,
and basically that's how I go about it.
- Alan Rudolph

When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms,
was he trading up or trading down?
- Doug Coupland

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.
- Richard Lewis

He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that,
in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella
over a duck in a shower of rain.
- Douglas William Jerrold

I took the process of doing as much myself as I could like a duck to water.
I set up my own label and publishing,
etc, and it was a fun learning curve two decades ago.
- David Knopfler

When I start a movie, the first day,
I feel like a duck.
- Penelope Cruz

Rock 'n' roll is ridiculous. It's absurd.
In the past, U2 was trying to duck that.
Now we're wrapping our arms around it and giving it a great big kiss.
- Bono

The perils of duck hunting are great -
especially for the duck.
- Walter Cronkite

In the first State of the Union of his second term,
President Bush made clear to Americans tonight that
he is not going to play the role of a lame duck President.
- Jim Sensenbrenner

I am a still friend with Dave Crosby,
he's a weird duck but I like him a lot.
- Peter Tork

Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians.
If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The
Muppets would take seats in senate.
- Orson Welles

I want to keep audiences off balance,
so they don't know who I am or how to take me.
If I duck and weave, as Frank Bruno might say,
I'll have a longer shelf life.
- Robert Carlyle

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein
but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.
- Tom Shales

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.
- Tim Vine

A duck's nest was found today near the trail on the
dry open prairie with as far as could be seen no water or marsh near.
The bird flew off but could not tell what species.
The eggs nine originally.
- George Mercer Dawson

I'm a very driven, ambitious, positive person.
But I'm a spiritual person as well.
I believe in creative visualization.
So for me to go to America - which I find such a positive place -
well,
I took to it like a duck to water.
- Victoria Beckham

The first time it felt really dangerous,
like the sort of thing you had to lock the doors and
close the curtains on because if anybody saw you,
God would strike you down with a thunderbolt.
But I took to it like a duck to water.
- Jamie Muir

When I was nine years old I use to copy ( not trace
) the covers of the Donald Duck comics.
Many years later I became a close friend of Jack Hannah,
the director of the Donald Duck film shorts.
- William Jackson

The nearest the modern general or admiral comes to
a small-arms encounter of any sort is at a duck hunt
in the company of corporation executives at the retreat of Continental Motors,
Inc.
- C. Wright Mills

You know, he would go and look at different funny books
because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces.
I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the
same character he was playing.
It was about a duck.
- Bubba Smith

You cannot soar with eagles when you are running with ducks.
- Anonymous

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
- Eric Sevareid

I've always looked upon the Ducks as caricature human beings.
Perhaps I've been years writing in that middle world that J.R.R.
Tolkien describes, and never knew it.
- Carl Barks

If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories
where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made,
I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil.
- Doug Coupland

If it's well written and well directed and you've got
good actors to work with,
acting is easy.
But making sure all the ducks are in a row is the hard part.
It's very rare.
- John Lithgow

I lived with them in my studio in New York.
And of course if I were doing that book today or even ten years,
fifteen years later, I would have gone to where the
wild ducks were and where I could study them -
I would have gone to the country somewhere.
- Robert McCloskey

I get a lot of letters.
Not only from children but from adults,
too.
Almost every week, every month, clippings come in from
some part of the world where ducks are crossing the street.
- Robert McCloskey

There are no Rabbits in the north-west.
This statement, far from final, is practically true to-day,
but I saw plenty of Lynxes, and one cannot write of
ducks without mentioning water.
- Ernest Thompson Seton

Sometimes I'll go by and there are a couple of swans,
the next day it's a few ducks.
I'd like to stop there every day for a year and capture how it changes,
then put it all together to create an incredible image
of a traditional English scene.
- Graeme Le Saux

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into
an alleyway and lost him.
- Emo Philips

And the Blue Angels are coming back to scare the local population.
I remember seeing old Vietnamese women ducking under
the benches in Washington Square;
they thought they were back in the war.
- Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I. - Oscar Levant

I ride my blue polka-dot horse through the byways of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The politicians were talking themselves red,
white and blue in the face.
- Clare Boothe Luce

May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Within my mind, the sun always shines,
and the sky is always blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you love a man, he becomes more than a body.
His physical limbs expand, and his outline recedes,
vanishes.
He is rich and sweet and right.
He is part of the world, the atmosphere,
the blue sky and the blue water.
- Gwendolyn Brooks

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you,
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand,
Rejoice, for your soul is alive.
- Eleanora Duse

I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings

To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s,
and I wouldn't wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.
- Lionel Blue

Life has loveliness to sell, all beautiful and splendid things,
blue waves whitened on a cliff, soaring fire that sways and sings,
and children's faces looking up, holding wonder like a cup.
- Sara Teasdale

By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all
nature seems renewed around me and with me.
The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue,
the trees a deeper green.
The whole world is charged with the glory of God and
I feel fire and music under my feet.
- Thomas Merton

Reporters used to be blue-collar; at the Globe now,
it's practically required that you have a trust fund.
- Howie Carr

I think I have something tonight that's not quite correct for evening wear.
Blue suede shoes.
- Elvis Presley

There are things in American culture that want to wipe the class distinction.
Blue jeans.
Ready-made clothes.
Coca-Cola.
- Leslie Fiedler

Roll on, deep and dark blue ocean, roll.
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain.
Man marks the earth with ruin, but his control stops with the shore.
- Lord Byron

Visualize this thing that you want, see it,
feel it, believe in it.
Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.
- Robert Collier


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.