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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Join Quotes
Funny Quotes about Join

Let these funny Join Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.

I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece.
I challenge you to join the ranks of those people
who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
- Tony Robbins


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As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


 

Indifferent to whether your mood is grumpy or cheerful,
Nature always sings her passionate song of joyful celebration.
You can never stop the happy song of life,
so join the celebration -
sing along, dance, make love,
smile your biggest smile, and cheer on God's music.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As we join hands in fellowship
around this bountiful table,
we give thanks for the blessings of this food
and the love of these friends
as a symbol of our gratitude
for all the manifold blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great relationships begin with two people who are each
self confident and who come to each other with the openness
to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person.
If there is true love and an alignment of fundamental values,
choose to join your life with your new partner
and vow never to criticize their nature -
the essence that makes them uniquely themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Geography has made us neighbors.
History has made us friends.
Economics has made us partners,
and necessity has made us allies.
Those whom God has so joined together,
let no man put asunder.
- John F. Kennedy

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Recovery begins with embracing our pain
and taking the risk to share it with others.
We do this by joining a group
and talking about our pain.
- John Bradshaw

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

In individuals, insanity is rare;
but in groups, parties, nations and epochs,
it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror.
As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.
- Carl Jung

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein

Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason.
- Terry Goodkind

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson

The tyrant dies and his rule is over,
the martyr dies and his rule begins
- Soren Kierkegaard

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
- George Bernard Shaw

We can let circumstances rule us,
or we can take charge and
rule our lives from within.
- Earl Nightingale

Most of the fundamental ideas of science
are essentially simple,
and may, as a rule, be expressed
in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein

Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield

Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The clearest way to show what the rule of law
means to us in everyday life
is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Hatred does not cease by hatred,
but only by love;
this is the eternal rule.
- The Buddha

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill

There is no rule more invariable than that
we are paid for our suspicions
by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
- Luke 6:31 (the "Golden Rule")

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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