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Funny Boyfriend Quotes
Funny Quotes about Boyfriend

Let these funny Boyfriend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain


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A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman


 

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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