Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Saw Quotes
Funny Quotes about Saw

Let these funny Saw Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

And as he spoke of understanding,
I looked up and saw the rainbow leap
with flames of many colors over me.
- Black Elk

I never saw a discontented tree.
They grip the ground as though they liked it,
and though fast rooted, they travel about as far as we do.
- John Muir


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When I saw you I fell in love,
and you smiled because you knew.
- commonly but falsely attributed to William Shakespeare

Take time to sharpen the saw.
- Steven Covey


 

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie

The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb


Thank you for visiting: Funny Saw Quotes - Funny Quotes about Saw.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.