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Funny Wanted Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wanted

Let these funny Wanted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
- Mel Brooks


 

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I
should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
- Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket


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My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me -
Homeland Security.
- Art Buchwald

Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Secretly, I wanted to look like Jimi Hendrix,
but I could never quite pull it off.
- Bryan Ferry

Designers are very fickle.
I never wanted to be a victim of that.
You're in one minute, out the next.
- Tyra Banks

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one.
So I got a cake.
- Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to be with the kind of people I'd grown up with,
but you can't go back to them and be one of them again,
no matter how hard you try.
- Ethel Waters

I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man.
At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did,
which was work in an office.
- Harrison Ford

My love of fine art increased - the more of it I saw,
the more of it I wanted to see.
- Paul Getty

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.
- Michael Bergin

Earth Day 1970 was irrefutable evidence that the American
people understood the environmental threat and wanted action to resolve it.
- Barry Commoner

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday,
so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson

Wanted: a needle swift enough to sew this poem into a blanket.
- Charles Simic

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument.
He told me to knock myself out.
- Jay London

Love cannot endure indifference.
It needs to be wanted.
Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart,
or its flame burns low.
- Henry Ward Beecher

I wanted to escape so badly.
But of course I knew I couldn't just give up and leave school.
It was only when I heard my mom's voice that I came out of my hiding place.
- Zhang Ziyi

Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever
wanted to leave our house.
- Anthony Anderson

Both my mother and father were very supportive of any
career move any of us wanted to make.
- James Gandolfini

I would never have done what I'd done if I'd considered
my father as somebody I wanted to please.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

I decided I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 11 years of age.
- Johnnie Cochran

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Growing up, I wanted desperately to please,
to be a good girl.
- Claire Danes

I always imagined I could be what I wanted to be.
- Chris Brown

There's sometimes a weird benefit to having an alcoholic,
violent father.
He really motivated me in that I never wanted to be anything like him.
- Dean Koontz

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up.
I wish my grandmother had done the same.
I wanted my girls to know me.
- Carol Burnett

My mother told me on several different occasions that
she was livin' her dream vicariously through me.
She once said that I was getting' to do all the things
that she would have wanted to have done.
- Buck Owens

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged;
it makes me think that the chef is spending too much
time arranging and not enough time cooking.
If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
- Andy Rooney

I was told to avoid the business all together because of the rejection.
People would say to me, 'Don't you want to have a normal
job and a normal family?' I guess that would be good advice for some people,
but I wanted to act.
- Jennifer Aniston

But if God wanted us to think with our wombs,
why did he give us a brain.
- Clare Boothe Luce

I haven't wanted to play a mother for a long time because I am one.
- Frances McDormand

I just wanted to be an ordinary parish priest.
- Martin Scorsese

Well, I always wanted to be educated and be prepared.
- Jon Secada

I had a big troupe, a big army and it was a lot of fun.
And, after 10 years of that, I just decided that I
wanted to travel and do special dates.
I go to Las Vegas these days.
- Bobby Vinton

I wanted to avoid, special IO for terminals.
- Ken Thompson

My mother always wanted me to be glamorous.
When I thought about that, it really fired me up,
and once I lost all those pounds, I started to feel
really good about myself.
- Etta James

Every prop, every shot, every pearl that rolled across
the floor was exactly how I wanted it to be.
- Melissa Joan Hart

I just really wanted to do art, except when I was taking
those photographs of people I would make the clothes
that I would photograph them in so I could control the whole thing.
- Stephen Sprouse

I remember the guest stars who came,
they were always trying to find a new plot for their
characters because they wanted to stay.
It was really a great working environment.
- Caroline Dhavernas

I wanted to play saxophone, but all I could get were a few squeaks.
- Stevie Ray Vaughan

We should have gone over years before that.
I always wanted to and I think most of the band did.
- Roy Wood

They thought we were going to hurt the game,
but we just wanted to help ourselves,
because the players needed to get together to protect their interests.
- Ted Lindsay

If you wanted to torture me, you'd tie me down and
force me to watch our first five videos.
- Jon Bon Jovi

My buddies wanted to be firemen, farmers or policemen,
something like that.
Not me, I just wanted to steal people's money!
- John Dillinger

I wanted to show a normal young girl whose only difference
was that she behaved in the way a boy might,
without any sense of guilt on a moral or sexual level.
- Roger Vadim

We just wanted to write a bunch of songs that we thought were good songs.
- Travis Barker

I wanted to go to a liberal arts college,
I wanted to have that experience.
- Mandy Patinkin

This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels.
The characters are very Indian.
I decided that I wanted to do a comedy,
so this was just the right one.
- Ismail Merchant

From the beginning, I wanted to live my own life,
and patiently I shored up that desire against wind and tide.
- Ella Maillart

We were into Hendrix and Cream, who were like the heaviest
bands around at that time.
We just wanted to be heavier than everybody else!
- Geezer Butler

It was the Control album that was really about what I wanted to do.
- Janet Jackson

We wanted this war and now we've got it,
and I'm not sure that we know what to do with it.
- Michael Ignatieff

Well, writing was what I wanted to do,
it was always what I wanted to do.
I had novels to write so I wrote them.
- Octavia Butler

I've always wanted to act since I was little.
- Alanna Ubach

Am I worried people will say I'm repeating myself? Sure.
One thought I had was to publish it as a novel but
eventually I just decided to do what I wanted to do.
- Elizabeth Wurtzel

I've always wanted to be an animator.
That's an ultimate art form, right there.
- Jason Marsden

I just met someone who read Gone With the Wind 62 times
for exactly that same reason.
She couldn't bear that it wasn't real.
She wanted to live in it.
- Alison Bechdel


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.