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Funny Priest Quotes
Funny Quotes about Priest

Let these funny Priest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


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Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln


 

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice,
more drunkards than thirst,
and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
- The Buddha

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

CALM IN CHAOS
In the midst of the flurry - clarity.
In the midst of the storm - calm.
In the midst of divided interests - certainty.
In the many roads - a certain choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

All the great things are simple,
and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Winston Churchill

I have the right to love many people at once
and to change my prince often.
- Anais Nin

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor,
it cannot save the few who are rich.
- John F. Kennedy

Too many people overvalue what they are not,
and undervalue what they are.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus

Many men go fishing all of their lives
without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau

Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head,
and knows not that it brings abundance
to drive away the hunger.
- Saint Basil

We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.
- Henry David Thoreau

Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers.
This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated
thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein

In the midst of the flurry - clarity.
In the midst of the storm - calm.
In the midst of divided interests - certainty.
In the many roads - a certain choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things
which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allen Poe

Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There are many answers you have received
but have not yet heard.
- A Course In Miracles

There are as many pillows of illusion
as flakes in a snow-storm.
We wake from one dream into another dream.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Faith is the highest passion in a human being.
Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.
- Soren Kierkegaard

As every divided kingdom falls,
so every mind divided between
many studies confounds and saps itself.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Many hands make light work.
- Proverb

Facts are many, but the truth is one.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

Celebration has many different outfits
but she always wears the same beautiful dancing shoes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare

The fox has many tricks.
The hedgehog has but one.
But that is the best of all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

And as he spoke of understanding,
I looked up and saw the rainbow leap
with flames of many colors over me.
- Black Elk

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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