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Let these funny Snapped Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
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We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen
One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
Toleration and liberty are the foundations of a great republic.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
These are the keys to a great life...
taking oneself lightly, forgiveness, and acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The challenge of living a great life is to create
a meaningful whole out of sometimes ill-fitting halves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln
When you become centered, suddenly there is great freedom
because you know you are not the mind and you are not the body.
- Osho
Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans
In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca
My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving
Most people say that is it is the intellect
which makes a great scientist.
They are wrong: it is character.
- Albert Einstein
A great man is always willing to be little.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch
Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus
Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.