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Let these funny Slender Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
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We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw
We are all connected in the great Circle of Life.
- the movie The Lion King
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot
To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling
After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. -
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
All difficult things have
their origin in that which is easy,
and great things in that which is small.
- Lao Tzu
The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
- William Arthur Ward
The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden
Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus
No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca
As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thinking is necessary, but not sufficient, for living a great life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In principle, the great religions of the world
do not differ as much as they appear to.
- Ernest Holmes
The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling
Because of a great love, one is courageous.
- Lao Tzu
All the great things are simple,
and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Winston Churchill
Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.