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Let these funny Hey Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett
If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper
It's fine to celebrate success
but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
- Bill Gates
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Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland
A broken bone can heal, but the wound
a word opens can fester forever.
- Jessamyn West
Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes
Forgiveness is the only way to heal
- don Miguel Ruiz
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller
There is magic in sincere forgiveness - magic to heal.
- Terry Goodkind
Believe in the goodness of life.
Believe in the power of time to heal and to renew.
Believe in the power of forgiveness and gratitude.
Believe in the gift of rainbows and butterflies.
Believe in the laughter of children.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins
I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
O Captain. My Captain. our fearful trip is done.
- Walt Whitman
A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own.
- Thomas Mann
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It is originally an unlearned feeling process.
Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
- Anne Grant
There is no death, only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous
Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump
When you break up, your whole identity is
shattered. It's like death.
- Dennis Quaid
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins
Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not mourn the dead, but comfort the living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams
Every parting gives a foretaste of death,
every reunion a hint of the resurrection.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
It's not what you take when
you leave this world behind you.
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
- Randy Travis
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle.
It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland
I cannot know the pain you feel.
I cannot share your memories or your loss.
My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet
know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do the thing you fear,
and death of fear is certain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without zest, what is life?
Just waiting for death?
- Osho
Only love and death will change all things.
- Khalil Gibran
Shrinking away from death
is something unhealthy and abnormal -
which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
- Carl Jung
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because
we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
- Anais Nin
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
- George Santayana
Fear of death makes us devoid both of valor and religion.
For want of valor is want of religious faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.