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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Fruits Quotes
Funny Quotes about Fruits

Let these funny Fruits Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I have always found that mercy bears
richer fruits than strict justice.
- Abraham Lincoln

Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

Your life is the fruit of your own doing.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
- Joseph Campbell

Love is a fruit in season at all times,
and within reach of every hand.
- Mother Teresa


 

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin;
what else does a man need to be happy?
- Albert Einstein

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

Happiness is the final and perfect fruit
of obedience to the laws of life.
- Helen Keller

Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
- Khalil Gibran

Be not like the sugarcane -
do not hold your sweetness inside.
Be like the fruit tree -
be generous with your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (inspired by Tagore)

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital.
Capital is only the fruit of labor,
and could never have existed if labor had not first existed.
Labor is the superior of capital,
and deserves much the higher consideration.
- Abraham Lincoln

The smallest seed of faith is better than
the largest fruit of happiness.
- Henry David Thoreau

No greater thing is created suddenly,
any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.
If you tell me that you desire a fig,
I answer you that there must be time.
Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
- Epictetus

We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and,
in its true sense, a noble one.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business.
- Winston Churchill

Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics
do not know what religion is.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity.
- Albert Einstein

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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