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Funny Humanity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Humanity

Let these funny Humanity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

Suspended between earth and sky,
my humanity draws from both,
my tendrils reach for the energies of each.
Spirit and Ground - equal yet opposite,
the lightness and the solidarity,
the ephemeral and the substantial.
The substantial is no more and no less
than the ephemeral - merely different.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller


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Part of our essential humanity is paying respect to what God gave us
and what will be here a long time after we're gone.
- William J. Clinton

It has become appallingly obvious that
our technology has exceeded our humanity.
- Albert Einstein

You must not lose faith in humanity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


 

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The 3 Rs that Plague Humanity:
Regret, Resentment, and Revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

I choose acceptance and compassion toward all humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot despair of humanity,
since we ourselves are human beings.
- Albert Einstein

An individual has not started living
until he can rise above the narrow confines
of his individualistic concerns
to the broader concerns of all humanity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance
and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell

I am one of those who think like Nobel,
that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discoveries.
- Marie Curie

Is the system going to flatten you out
and deny you your humanity,
or are you going to be able to make use of the system
to the attainment of human purposes?
- Joseph Campbell

The choice is to work alone to be a little
more successful than the next person,
or to work together for the great betterment of humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

A generous heart, kind speech,
and a life of service and compassion
are the things which renew humanity.
- The Buddha

What is admirable about those
who have been of great service to humanity
is not that they suffered in being of service,
but that they found their source of happiness
(joy if you prefer) in that service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are important. You are the star -
the only star - of your own life show.
Everyone else is a bit player in the great drama of your life.
Be of service to humanity, but never be anyone's doormat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well
can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

What is a miracle? To some, it is an act of God.
To others, something amazing, extraordinary, or unexpected.
To me, Life is a miracle.
Everything that happens is a miracle.
There is no reason for me to exist as I do -
no reason for humanity, the universe, or the laws of Nature.
Energy, mass, gravity and the rest of existence
are all so improbable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The world is indebted for all triumphs
which have been gained by reason and humanity
over error and oppression.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is not our place to know the mind of God.
Spirit knows what is best in the long run -
best for each of us individually,
and best for humanity as a whole.
This is often very difficult to accept
when we see war and disease in the world
and experience physical and emotional suffering
in ourselves, our family, and our friends.
I consider this belief in God's infinite power
and ultimate wisdom to be the true test of faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our humanity rests upon a series of learned behaviors,
woven together into patterns that are infinitely fragile
and never directly inherited.
- Margaret Mead

If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values,
we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities,
and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric,
one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place.
- Margaret Mead

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau

Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.
- John Galsworthy

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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