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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Least Quotes
Funny Quotes about Least

Let these funny Least Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg


 

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill

He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates


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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson

Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow

The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony

Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
- Robert Byrne

I've got two old Volvos, two old Subarus,
and an old Ford Ranger.
If you've got an old car, you've gotta have at least several old cars,
'cause one's always gonna be in the garage.
- Rip Torn

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you,
fame.
If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle.
So at least it's something I experience,
but that's not where I live.
- Marilyn Monroe

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

That government is best which governs the least,
because its people discipline themselves.
- Thomas Jefferson

Vote for the man who promises least;
he'll be the least disappointing.
- Bernard Baruch

Love is like a butterfly,
it settles upon you when you least expect it.
- Anonymous

Who is wise in love, love most, say least.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

He is richest who is content with the least.
- Socrates

If we cannot now end our differences,
at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.
- John F. Kennedy

It all depends on how we look at things,
and not on how things are in themselves.
The least of things with a meaning
is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Carl Jung

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people
come from their intelligence.
They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
- Marcel Proust

Old age is an excellent time for outrage.
My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.
- Louis Kronenberger

I know a lot of people think I'm dumb.
Well, at least I ain't no educated fool.
- Leon Spinks

Men of lofty genius,
when they are doing the least work,
are most active.
- Leonardo da Vinci

If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.
- Alan Alda

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down -
at least he did until he dropped dead.
- Cesar Romero

If you can, help others;
if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If in the least particular, one could
derange the order of nature,
who would accept the gift of life?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
- John Harrigan

A man has made at least a start on discovering the
meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under
which he knows full well he will never sit.
- D. Elton Trueblood

Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things
that made life to me glorious -
friendship and learning.
- Jane Harrison

I was the least Pop of all the Pop artists.
- Robert Indiana

There are certain pursuits which,
if not wholly poetic and true,
do at least suggest a nobler and finer
relation to nature than we know.
The keeping of bees, for instance.
- Henry David Thoreau

It's challenging, but you have to at least try to eat right and exercise.
- Joely Fisher

Of all lies, art is the least untrue.
- Gustave Flaubert

A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire,
in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a
dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.
- Hal Borland

The waking mind is the least serviceable in the arts.
- Henry Miller

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day;
wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
- Elbert Hubbard

Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth,
and if a man does not know what a thing is,
it is at least an increase in knowledge
if he knows what it is not.
- Carl Jung

The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life
than the greatest of things without it.
- Carl Jung

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at
least 172 miles per hour upside down.
- Dave Barry

We have war when at least one of the parties to a conflict
wants something more than it wants peace.
- Jeane Kirkpatrick

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and
dissected at least one woman.
- Honore de Balzac

Since it is not granted to us to live long,
let us transmit to posterity some memorial that we have at least lived.
- E. Joseph Cossman

There is a vast world of work out there in this country,
where at least 111 million people are employed in this country alone -
many of whom are bored out of their minds.
All day long.
- Richard Nelson Bolles

It is always a good day to be grateful for all of life -
grateful for large blessings and small.
Especially to be grateful for the symbolic blessings -
the rainbows and butterflies that come into our lives
when we least expect and most need them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

Thus so wretched is man that he would weary even without
any cause for weariness...
and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand reasons for weariness,
the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball,
is sufficient enough to amuse him.
- Blaise Pascal

All in the dark we grope along,
And if we go amiss
We learn at least which path is wrong,
And there is gain in this.
We do not always win the race
By only running right;
We have to tread the mountain's base
Before we reach its height.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I desire so to conduct the affairs
of this administration that, if at the end...
I have lost every other friend on earth,
I shall at least have one friend left,
and that friend shall be down inside of me.
- Abraham Lincoln

We all dream; we do not understand our dreams,
yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds,
strange at least by comparison with the logical,
purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
- Erich Fromm

It is necessary to help others,
not only in our prayers,
but in our daily lives.
If we find we cannot help others,
the least we can do is to desist from harming them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- The Buddha

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic,
but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs,
you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death,
and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully,
or you're not alive.
- Mel Brooks

Travel is the most private of pleasures.
There is no greater bore than the travel bore.
We do not in the least want to hear what he has seen in Hong-Kong.
- Vita Sackville-West

Pay your people the least possible and you'll get from them the same.
- Malcolm Forbes

I carry a notebook full of sketches of pictures I want to take -
they are really scruffy sketches,
but at least I am going out there with a clear objective.
- Nigel Dennis

The cleverest of all, in my opinion,
is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month.
- Fyodor Dostoevsky

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians:
the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.
- e. e. cummings

The American public is not aware that there might be
potential allergenic and toxic reactions.
With regular food, at least people know which foods they have an allergy to.
- Jeremy Rifkin

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
- Dick Cavett

At least for the people who send me mail about a new
language that they're designing,
the general advice is: do it to learn about how to write a compiler.
- Dennis Ritchie

When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening.
- Craig Bruce

Every Sherlock Holmes story has at least one marvelous scene.
- Rex Stout

I do read books.
I suppose it's more or less the same thing,
but at least I'm alone and I'm an individual.
I can stop anytime I want, which I frequently do.
- Jack Vance

All wars come to an end, at least temporarily.
But the authority acquired by the state hangs on;
political power never abdicates.
- Frank Chodorov

Understanding reduces the greatest to simplicity,
and lack of its causes the least to take on the magnitude.
- Raymond Holliwell


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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