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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Myself Quotes
Funny Quotes about Myself

Let these funny Myself Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to
do it is another question altogether.
- Johnny Vegas

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
- Hillary Clinton

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


 

That's my only goal.
Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone
has a good time and works hard.
- Joe Rogan

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain


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Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

I am what I am.
- Village People

I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
- Henry David Thoreau

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

"Worry" is a word that I don't allow myself to use.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?"
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
- Walt Whitman

My health may be better preserved if I exert myself less,
but in the end doesn't each person give his life for his calling?
- Clara Schumann

If I like myself at this weight, then this is what I'm going to be.
I don't have an eating disorder.
- Courteney Cox

When I find myself in the company of scientists,
I feel like a shabby curate who has strayed by mistake
into a room full of dukes.
- W. H. Auden

Love is a binding force, by which another is joined
to me and cherished by myself.
- Thomas Aquinas

I auditioned on my own.
I tried to make a mark for myself without anybody's help,
not even Mom's.
- Kate Hudson

I've made a promise to myself to be a 100% healthy person if nothing else.
- Picabo Street

I do myself a greater injury in lying
than I do him of whom I tell a lie.
- Michel de Montaigne

I often buy myself presents.
Sometimes I will spend $100,000 in one day in a posh boutique.
- Celine Dion

I want for myself what I want for other women,
absolute equality.
- Agnes Macphail

Today, I will be gentle with myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I'm trusting and being myself...
everything in my life reflects this
by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
- Shakti Gawain

God has entrusted me with myself.
- Epictetus

I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.
- Jewel

It was my father who taught me to value myself.
He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that
I was the most precious thing in his life.
- Dawn French

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
- Charles de Gaulle

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth?
Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

I liken myself to Henry Ford and the auto industry,
I give you 90 percent of what most people need.
- Adam Osborne

I don't go long without eating.
I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.
- Vanessa Hudgens

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

I love, without condition, myself,
all those around me,
and all those in my thoughts,
this day and evermore. Amen
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like food.
I like eating.
And I don't want to deprive myself of good food.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is the use of physicians like myself trying to
help parents to bring up children healthy and happy,
to have them killed in such numbers for a cause that is ignoble?
- Benjamin Spock

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
I forgive myself for judging me guilty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've worked too hard and too long to let anything stand in the way of my goals.
I will not let my teammates down and I will not let myself down.
- Mia Hamm

I forgive myself for all my angers, resentments, and jealousies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely for having created stories of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If money was my only motivation, I would organize myself differently.
- Placido Domingo

NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The burden of the self is lightened when I laugh at myself.
- Rabindranath Tagore

By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

The greatest pleasure when I started making money was
not buying cars or yachts but finding myself able to
have as many freshly typed drafts as possible.
- Gore Vidal

I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

I am the lord of myself, accountable to none.
- Benjamin Franklin

If I am not for myself,
who will be for me?
Yet if I am for myself alone,
of what good am I?
- Hillel

I can trust my friends These people force me to examine myself,
encourage me to grow.
- Cher

Whenever I look in the mirror,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself:
Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

I don't believe in depriving myself of any food or
being imprisoned by a diet.
- Joely Fisher

I forgive everyone - especially myself.
I forgive for my own sake,
that I may transmute my resentments into Unconditional Love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument.
He told me to knock myself out.
- Jay London

Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong

When I Honor myself,
I am confident of my being,
and I am gentle with myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I lay aside the battles within my own mind,
and grant myself peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever I look at a human face,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank

I am at Peace with myself,
my family, my community, and the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believed in myself.
I never imagined myself as just an ordinary player.
- Imran Khan


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.