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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Both Quotes
Funny Quotes about Both

Let these funny Both Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous


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It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts


 

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ambition is like love,
impatient both of delays and rivals.
- The Buddha

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Suspended between earth and sky,
my humanity draws from both,
my tendrils reach for the energies of each.
Spirit and Ground - equal yet opposite,
the lightness and the solidarity,
the ephemeral and the substantial.
The substantial is no more and no less
than the ephemeral - merely different.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Like a Rose, I Thrive -
Blessed With Both My Thorns and My Blooms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear of death makes us devoid both of valor and religion.
For want of valor is want of religious faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

Perspective is both a necessary
and a sufficient ground for wisdom.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that the act of smiling makes both you and others happier.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Republicans are for both the man and the dollar,
but in case of conflict the man before the dollar.
- Abraham Lincoln

Taoists understand that both the mind and the body
are mere tools of the Spirit,
and that intention creates physical reality.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.

I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

May You Always Be Connected With Earth and Sky -
Drawing Energy From Both.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
- Eva Gabor

We cannot be both the world's leading champion of peace and
the world's leading supplier of the weapons of war.
- Jimmy Carter

We fear both the best and the worst in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laughter is day, and sobriety is night;
a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both,
more bewitching than either.
- Henry Ward Beecher

When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare

When love and hate are both absent
everything becomes clear and undisguised.
- Osho

If your home is not a place where you can truly
kick-back and be yourself - both physically and emotionally -
consider making some changes in your way-of-life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I celebrate both my uniqueness
and my connection with all that is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am a Unique Expression
of the Universal Fabric of Creation.
I celebrate both my uniqueness
and my connection with all that is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love cures people - both the ones who give it
and the ones who receive it.
- Karl A. Menninger

We the people are the rightful masters
of both Congress and the courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution
but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
- Abraham Lincoln

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Unless both sides win,
no agreement can be permanent.
- Jimmy Carter

The purpose is clear. It is safety with solvency.
The country is entitled to both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower {political}

Each and every human being on Earth
has both the responsibility and the privilege
of viewing themselves as Divine beings
with the power to bring about peace.
- James Twyman

A people that values its privileges
above its principles
soon loses both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is very important to generate a good attitude,
a good heart, as much as possible.
From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term
for both yourself and others will come.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Having seen the devastation of war first hand,
Eisenhower came both to despise war
and to see that "war settles nothing."
On the other hand, Ike was certainly no peacenik.
He understood that, in an emergency,
action must be met with reaction.
When truly necessary, violence met with violence -
but never hate responded to with hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This overcoming of all the usual barriers
between the individual and the Absolute
is the great mystic achievement.
In mystic states we both become one with the Absolute
and we become aware of our oneness.
This is the everlasting and triumphant mystical tradition,
hardly altered by differences of clime or creed.
- William James

BUILD UP YOUR CIRCLE....
A mind that perceives
What can rationally be.
A spirit that sees
Innovative possibility.
A heart that is open to
Both beginnings and ends.
A firm hand that fits readily
To the reach of a friend.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make,
both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control
the process of choosing, you can take control
of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom
that comes from being in charge of yourself.
- Robert Foster Bennett

If you have been divorced, you know it hurts -
especially if your marriage had lasted many years.
Whatever the circumstances of your relationship,
and whatever the nature of its ending,
there is always grief and regret -
perhaps regret over the ending,
or perhaps regret over not ending the relationship sooner -
or perhaps both.
Nonetheless, move past the grief and regret.
No matter how painful, divorce, like all endings,
opens the door to new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take some time in a quiet place to contemplate
the balance between being of service -
both to this generation and to generations yet unborn -
and renewing your vitality with play and celebration.
Without play, one becomes old and dry.
Without service, life becomes meaningless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein

Choose to adopt the attitude toward failure that sports teams do.
In each game, one team succeeds and one fails.
Then the next week they both get out and play again.
Life is also a game - with some successes and some failures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All that this world needs is a good cleansing of the heart
of all the inhibitions of the past.
And laughter and tears can do both.
Tears will take out all the agony that is hidden inside you
and laughter will take all that is preventing your ecstasy.
Once you have learned the art you will be immensely surprised.
- Osho

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do.
Don't bother just to be better than
your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner

Don't bother just to be better than
your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill

This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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