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Funny Better Quotes
Funny Quotes about Better

Let these funny Better Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
- Kevin James

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill


 

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson


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Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill

It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

Discretion is the better part of valor.
(originally "The better part of valor is discretion")
- William Shakespeare

How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You have to learn the rules of the game.
And then you have to play better than anyone else.
- Albert Einstein

Well tended garden is better than a neglected wood lot.
- Dixie Lee Ray

Say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved.
- William Congreve

The only think I like better than talking about Food is eating.
- John Walters

You can do what you have to do,
and sometimes you can do it
even better than you think you can.
- Jimmy Carter

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones;
to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos
taste a hell of a lot better.
- Robert Redford

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.
- Aristotle

It is better to be in chains with friends,
than to be in a garden with strangers.
- Persian Proverb

The only thing better than singing is more singing.
- Ella Fitzgerald

It is not fit that every man should travel;
it makes a wise man better,
and a fool worse.
- William Hazlitt

You better take advantage of the good cigars.
You don't get much else in that job.
- Thomas P. O'Neill

Things alter for the worse spontaneously,
if they be not altered for the better designedly.
- Francis Bacon

Change means that what was before wasn't perfect.
People want things to be better.
- Esther Dyson

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

The more man meditates upon good thoughts,
the better will be his world and the world at large.
- Confucius

It is only through labor and painful effort,
by grim energy and resolute courage,
that we move on to better things.
- Theodore Roosevelt

The invisible hand of the market always moves faster
and better than the heavy hand of government.
- Mitt Romney

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet,
isn't much better than tedious disease.
- Alexander Pope

Poverty with security is better than plenty
in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
- Aesop

We are apt to forget that children watch examples better
than they listen to preaching.
- Roy L. Smith

I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking
at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.
- John Ciardi

Capitalism works better from every perspective when
the economic decision makers are forced to share power
with those who will be affected by those decisions.
- Barney Frank

It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

Hate destroys, Love builds.
Hate tears down, Love renews and creates.
Hatred holds no hope for the future.
Love creates Today as its own better future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man can... make a better mousetrap,
the world will make a beaten path to his door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive.
If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative.
- Anonymous

A liberal is a man or a woman or a child who looks forward to a better day,
a more tranquil night, and a bright,
infinite future.
- Leonard Bernstein

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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