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Let these funny Afterward Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
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Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
We shape our dwellings, and afterwards
our dwellings shape us.
- Winston Churchill
The whole art of teaching is only the art
of awakening the natural curiosity
of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus
Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
In the midst of movement and chaos,
keep stillness inside of you.
- Deepak Chopra
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
Keep the Faith.
- Anonymous
Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
To keep your thinking young, stay curious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
- Lao Tzu
If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb
Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey
Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
as you reach for the stars.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep silence for the most part,
and speak only when you must,
and then briefly.
- Epictetus
We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney
The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner
The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie
Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin
Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill
The promises we makes to ourselves are the things
that assure us we have the capacity to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca
The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln
To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha
Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau
Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans
I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln
My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake,
not by mechanical aid, but by
an infinite expectation of the dawn.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.