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Funny Afterward Quotes
Funny Quotes about Afterward

Let these funny Afterward Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

All marriages are happy.
It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
- Raymond Hull

When that shutter clicks, anything else that can be
done afterward is not worth consideration.
- Edward Steichen


 

Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
- Kurt Vonnegut

I hated the whole idea of being an actress.
I used to throw up before every performance and cry afterward.
- Judy Holliday


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Is it really so difficult to tell a good action from
a bad one? I think one usually knows right away or a moment afterward,
in a horrid flash of regret.
- Mary McCarthy

Let's give the conventions back to the politicians.
If we think there's any news, we can tack it on afterward as commentary.
But the conventions should be their show,
not ours.
- Don Hewitt

A timid person is frightened before a danger,
a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
- Jean Paul

It was a very cool thing to be a smart girl,
as opposed to some other, different kind.
And I think that made a great deal of difference to
me growing up and in my life afterward.
- Elena Kagan

Truth is meant to save you first, and the comfort comes afterward.
- Georges Bernanos

My idea is always to reach my generation.
The wise writer writes for the youth of his own generation,
the critics of the next, and the schoolmasters of ever afterward.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

The best teaching I ever experienced was at Exeter.
Yale was a distinct letdown afterward.
- John Knowles

Long afterward, many would remember those two days
in the first week of October with vividness and anguish.
- Arthur Hailey

I'll talk to kids afterward and somebody will always say,
'I'll leave my bedroom window open for you.
- Cathy Rigby

I sometimes like to tinker with poems that have failed,
ones that I have sent aside.
Even years afterward, I will revisit them if there
is something about them that I cannot give up on.
- John Barton

Some persons do first, think afterward,
and then repent forever.
- Thomas Secker

Assure a man that he has a soul and then frighten him
with old wives' tales as to what is to become of him afterward,
and you have hooked a fish, a mental slave.
- Theodore Dreiser

The mark of a true crush...
is that you fall in love first and grope for reasons afterward.
- Shana Alexander

I'm too shy for personal appearances,
and I've found out that anytime I talk about my writing,
I can't do any writing for many weeks afterward.
- Anne Tyler

My training in Science of Mind had begun with my mother.
She took me to a different church every Sunday,
and she encouraged me to question the minister afterward.
- Esther Williams

There is no abstract art.
You must always start with something.
Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
- Pablo Picasso

I think you learn more from looking at how things occurred
and what happened afterward,
not just at the event.
- John Turturro

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
- Marilyn vos Savant

First he wrought, and afterward he taught.
- Geoffrey Chaucer

When you're on a series, it's tough to go on and do
something else afterward.
If you're smart, save your money and you can wait out the bad times,
until something else comes along.
- Michael Dorn

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins
lying about us pretty soon afterward.
- Ambrose Bierce

He was the only person caught in the collapse,
and afterward, most of his work was recovered too,
and it is still spoken of, when it is noted,
with high regard, though seldom played.
- William Gaddis

The world breaks everyone, and afterward,
some are strong at the broken places.
- Ernest Hemingway

It didn't feel difficult at the time because I was
so charged up about both books.
Afterward, however, I was pretty tired.
In a good way, like after a great workout.
- Jonathan Kellerman

I sure saw a lot of kids that I'm sure didn't know a lot about us,
or we were definitely new to them.
The kids who came up to me afterward,
we'd talk about music, sign a lot of autographs.
So I'm sure we made a lot of new fans.
- Joan Jett

They say that the commons of England would first destroy
the king's friends and afterward himself,
and then bring the Duke of York to be king so that
by their false means and lies they may make him to
hate and destroy his friends,
and cherish his false traitors.
- Jack Cade

It was funny, when I thought of it afterward,
how Ruth and Gehrig looked as they stood there.
The Babe must have been waiting for me to get the ball
up a little so he could get his bat under it.
- Carl Hubbell

When it comes to my own turn to lay my weapons down,
I shall do so with thankfulness and fatigue,
and whatever be my destiny afterward,
I shall be glad to lie down with my fathers in honor.
It is human at least, if not divine.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

The aim of the tests carried on with these syllable series was,
by means of repeated audible perusal of the separate series,
to so impress them that immediately afterward they
could voluntarily be reproduced.
- Hermann Ebbinghaus

You know as a scientist that both were developed completely
independently of each other in the laboratories.
And only afterward were the political situations contrived
out of which they could be justified.
- E. P. Thompson

I don't know of any wrestler who hasn't,
at one time or another, been with a fan.
One time I met a woman at a match in Tennessee,
and afterward we went to a little roadside motel.
We checked in, went to the room, and enjoyed each other for an hour or so.
- Jerry Lawler

The way to know about championship quality is to learn from champions,
and that I did; studying them with professional purpose
during my time in the ring and from habitual interest afterward.
- Gene Tunney

When you work on a movie, you just have no idea how it's going to come out;
you hope it's good,
but you don't really know, and you don't see it until
about six or nine months afterward,
and I saw it and was pretty pleased.
- Rachel True

If I go to a seminar and someone like you or someone like him is talking,
I'm never part of the group that rushes him directly afterward.
I always wait in the back corner with my head down until everyone is gone,
and then I go up and do my thing.
- Arthur Godfrey

The worst gift that I ever gave a girl was a suitcase for Christmas.
As in, 'I can't think of anything to give you,
but here's a new suitcase.' Afterward,
I was like, 'What were you thinking,
idiot?'
- Jensen Ackles

I studied Japanese language and culture in college and graduate school,
and afterward went to work in Tokyo,
where I met a young man whose father was a famous businessman
and whose mother was a geisha.
- Arthur Golden

A man's delight in looking forward to and hoping for
some particular satisfaction is a part of the pleasure flowing out of it,
enjoyed in advance.
But this is afterward deducted, for the more we look
forward to anything the less we enjoy it when it comes.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.
Next to the first one in the morning,
it's the best one of all.
It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I
would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
- Florence King

I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry,
aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth.
I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought,
That's what I want to do.
- Reese Witherspoon

It was just expected that I would go to college.
Both my parents are teachers and they tolerated acting,
but I was going to go to a school of quality or bust.
Which made my downshifting back to acting afterward a little difficult.
- Wentworth Miller

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

The whole art of teaching is only the art
of awakening the natural curiosity
of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France

We shape our dwellings, and afterwards
our dwellings shape us.
- Winston Churchill

Each problem that I solved became a rule,
which served afterwards to solve other problems.
- Rene Descartes

Right afterwards there was a whole, whole lot of press to do,
so the week after, all day, every day,
was press so I didn't really get a chance to celebrate.
- Carrie Underwood

Sometimes the song title comes with the songs,
other times you just sorta make something up afterwards.
- Wayne Coyne

An author ought to write for the youth of his own generation,
the critics of the next, and the schoolmaster of ever afterwards.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us.
- Marshall McLuhan

It's afterwards you realize that the feeling of happiness
you had with a man didn't necessarily prove that you loved him.
- Marguerite Duras

Going to work around 8:00am at the body shop.
After work it's either weight training or practicing afterwards.
- Ben Jackson

Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only
seeks battle after the victory has been won,
whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and
afterwards looks for victory.
- Sun Tzu

It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie
awake about them afterwards.
- Baltasar Gracian

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of,
but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I knew I wanted to be an actor when I was growing up,
really.
So when I decided to go to university instead of drama school,
it was with the intention of becoming an actor afterwards.
- Hugh Dancy

I thought the '60s was the most exciting time and the most vital music,
and we were really together as one mind then.
Then afterwards, the songs and the bad drugs,
that took its toll.
- Mickey Hart

I also had to work through the violation of my date rape,
my unhealthy relationships with men,
my anger toward the people involved in the scandal,
and those who exploited me afterwards.
- Donna Rice

Study first, play afterwards.
- Daniel D. Palmer

What is a diary as a rule? A document useful to the person who keeps it.
Dull to the contemporary who reads it and invaluable to the student,
centuries afterwards, who treasures it.
- Walter Scott

I never found either this or the Northern Shrike return to such prey for food.
I have seen them alight on the same thorn bush afterwards,
but never made any use of this kind of food.
- John Bachman

If a woman earned a dollar by scrubbing,
her husband had a right to take the dollar and go and
get drunk with it and beat her afterwards.
It was his dollar.
- Lucy Stone


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