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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Afterward Quotes
Funny Quotes about Afterward

Let these funny Afterward Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin


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Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill


 

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

We shape our dwellings, and afterwards
our dwellings shape us.
- Winston Churchill

The whole art of teaching is only the art
of awakening the natural curiosity
of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

In the midst of movement and chaos,
keep stillness inside of you.
- Deepak Chopra

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

Keep the Faith.
- Anonymous

Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

To keep your thinking young, stay curious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
- Lao Tzu

If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb

Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey

Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
as you reach for the stars.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep silence for the most part,
and speak only when you must,
and then briefly.
- Epictetus

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

The promises we makes to ourselves are the things
that assure us we have the capacity to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha

Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel

Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake,
not by mechanical aid, but by
an infinite expectation of the dawn.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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