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Funny Age Quotes
Funny Quotes about Age

Let these funny Age Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


 

I don't need you to remind me of my age.
I have a bladder to do that for me.
- Stephen Fry

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,
I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby

When you become senile, you won't know it.
- Bill Cosby


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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year.
I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
- Claude Pepper

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
- E. Joseph Cossman

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Old age is a shipwreck.
- Charles de Gaulle

Old age is an excellent time for outrage.
My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.
- Louis Kronenberger

Age considers; youth ventures.
- Rabindranath Tagore

I'm not interested in age.
People who tell me their age are silly.
You're as old as you feel.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
- James Thurber

In youth we run into difficulties.
In old age difficulties run into us.
- Beverly Sills

As you age naturally, your family shows more and more on your face.
If you deny that, you deny your heritage.
- Frances Conroy

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought.
- Emily Dickinson

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope

We've put more effort into helping folks reach old
age than into helping them enjoy it.
- Frank Howard Clark

Those who love deeply never grow old;
they may die of old age,
but they die young.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts
catching up with Mother Nature.
- Harold Coffin

Old age is like everything else.
To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking
that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
- Don Marquis

He has a profound respect for old age.
Especially when it's bottled.
- Gene Fowler

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful,
kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
- Amos Bronson Alcott

The tendency of old age to the body,
say the physiologists,
is to form bone.
It is as rare as it is pleasant to meet with an old
man whose opinions are not ossified.
- Bob Wells

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard

Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age.
- Hosea Ballou

What most persons consider as virtue,
after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.
- Voltaire

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm.
Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
- Golda Meir

The really frightening thing about middle age is the
knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
- Doris Day

Age is not a particularly interesting subject.
Anyone can get old.
All you have to do is live long enough.
- Don Marquis

Bashfulness is an ornament to youth,
but a reproach to old age.
- Aristotle

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more
absurd than to increase our provisions for the road
the nearer we approach to our journey's end.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

You end up as you deserve.
In old age you must put up with the face,
the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
- Judith Viorst

Old age adds to the respect due to virtue,
but it takes nothing from the contempt inspired by vice;
it whitens only the hair.
- Ira Gershwin

I will never be an old man.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
- Francis Bacon

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.
- C. S. Lewis

I don't believe one grows older.
I think that what happens early on in life is that
at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.
- T. S. Eliot

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.
- Stanislaw Lec

Whatever poet, orator or sage may say of it,
old age is still old age.
- Sinclair Lewis

Old age is no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis

Age is how we determine how valuable you are.
- Jane Elliot

Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens.
A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not
suddenly become filled on retirement.
- Dwight L. Moody

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a noble life has prepared old age,
it is not decline that it reveals, but the first days of immortality.
- Muriel Spark

Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face.
- Albert Camus

Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing.
It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage,
but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.
- Confucius

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.
Middle age is when you're forced to.
- Bill Vaughan

To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body,
the mind, and the heart.
And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise,
study, and love.
- Alan Bleasdale

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.
- Fay Weldon

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain

Middle age is youth without levity, and age without decay.
- Doris Day

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of
having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
- Jim Fiebig

In youth the days are short and the years are long.
In old age the years are short and day's long.
- Pope Paul VI

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent.
We are no longer in the past, we have arrived.
- Knut Hamsun

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you
never get the urge to throw a snowball.
- Doug Larson

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.
- Kitty O'Neill Collins

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
- Henry Ford


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