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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Drinks Quotes
Funny Quotes about Drinks

Let these funny Drinks Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

Worthless people live only to eat and drink;
people of worth eat and drink only to live.
- Socrates


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A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran


 

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

I have been brought up and trained to have
the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
- Winston Churchill

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.
- Horace

Laziness may appear attractive,
but work gives satisfaction.
- Anne Frank

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Vince Lombardi

When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

You are never given a wish without also
being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach

The harder I work, the luckier I get.
- Samuel Goldwyn

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi

A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
his troops will feel they did it themselves.
- Lao Tzu

What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

Work out your own salvation.
Do not depend on others.
- The Buddha

What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When nature has work to be done,
she creates a genius to do it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

Have convictions. Be friendly.
Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs.
Work as hard as they do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Confidence is the most important single factor in this game,
and no matter how great your natural talent,
there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.
- Jack Nicklaus

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily,
but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are
not glass threads or frost-work,
but the solidest thing we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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