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Funny Water Quotes
Funny Quotes about Water

Let these funny Water Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll


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I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't cross the sea merely by
standing and staring at the water.
- Rabindranath Tagore

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu


 

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran

We are tied to the ocean.
And when we go back to the sea,
whether it is to sail or to watch -
we are going back from whence we came.
- John F. Kennedy

The primal rhythmic power
and resonant sound of waves on the shore
are like the earth's heartbeat,
and become our connection with the body of nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you may count every drop of water in the ocean and
count every grain of sand in the sea -
multiply it by a thousand and that's how much I love you.
- George of Langkloof

Know that you are one with the earth, with the water,
with the fire, with the air that you breathe, with all living things,
and that all of these are one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take a course in good water and air;
and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own.
Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you.
- John Muir

Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all.
- Nelson Mandela

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper

In the world there is nothing more
submissive and weak than water.
Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong,
nothing can surpass it.
- Lao Tzu

When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water,
yet nothing can resist it.
- Lao Tzu

When the water starts boiling
it is foolish to turn off the heat.
- Nelson Mandela

Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The grass is not always greener
on the other side of the fence.
Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered.
When crossing over fences, carry water with you
and tend the grass wherever you may be.
- Anonymous

We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional

This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He said to them, "Where is your faith?"
And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another,
"Who can this be?
For He commands even the winds and water,
and they obey Him!"
- Luke 8:25

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit
or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When true friends meet in adverse hour,
'Tis like a sunbeam through a shower.
A watery way an instant seen,
The darkly closing clouds between.
- Sir Walter Scott

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Look now into the still waters
of the reflecting pool
and behold the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As your spirit soars throughout
the vast Cathedral of Your Being,
look now into the still waters
of the reflecting pool and behold the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard
or just think it's going to get on by itself.
You've got to keep watering it.
You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
- John Lennon

Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them.
- Alan Watts

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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