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Funny Water Quotes
Funny Quotes about Water

Let these funny Water Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
- Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Mitch Hedberg

The four building blocks of the universe are fire,
water, gravel and vinyl.
- Dave Barry


 

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll


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Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't cross the sea merely by
standing and staring at the water.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The primal rhythmic power
and resonant sound of waves on the shore
are like the earth's heartbeat,
and become our connection with the body of nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are tied to the ocean.
And when we go back to the sea,
whether it is to sail or to watch -
we are going back from whence we came.
- John F. Kennedy

Take a course in good water and air;
and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own.
Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you.
- John Muir

In the world there is nothing more
submissive and weak than water.
Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong,
nothing can surpass it.
- Lao Tzu

The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein
of water flowing hidden underground,
secretly making the ground green.
- Thomas Carlyle

Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all.
- Nelson Mandela

On long haul flights I always drink loads and loads
of water and eat light and healthy food.
- Lisa Snowdon

Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci

When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -
who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce

A lot of people like snow.
I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
- Carl Reiner

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for
days on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields

Know that you are one with the earth, with the water,
with the fire, with the air that you breathe, with all living things,
and that all of these are one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water drinkers.
- Horace

Reminds me of my safari in Africa.
Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days
we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields

By polluting clear water with slime you will never
find good drinking water.
- Aeschylus

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water,
yet nothing can resist it.
- Lao Tzu

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you may count every drop of water in the ocean and
count every grain of sand in the sea -
multiply it by a thousand and that's how much I love you.
- George of Langkloof

When the water starts boiling
it is foolish to turn off the heat.
- Nelson Mandela

All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying
to get back to where it was.
- Toni Morrison

Even in the developing parts of the world,
kids take to computers like fish to water.
- Nicholas Negroponte

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River,
the headline that afternoon would read:
"President Can't Swim."
- Lyndon B. Johnson

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Within 10 years it will be impossible to travel to
the North Pole by dog team.
There will be too much open water.
- Will Steger

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
- W. C. Fields

Friendship and money: oil and water.
- Mario Puzo

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The grass is not always greener
on the other side of the fence.
Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered.
When crossing over fences, carry water with you
and tend the grass wherever you may be.
- Anonymous

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was born with music inside me.
Music was one of my parts.
Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart.
Like my blood.
It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene.
It was a necessity for me-like food or water.
- Ray Charles

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass
under trees on a summer's day,
listening to the murmur of the water,
or watching the clouds float across the sky,
is by no means a waste of time.
- John Lubbock

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as
a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy
because it is an exalted activity will have neither
good plumbing nor good philosophy:
neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
- John W. Gardner

When you love a man, he becomes more than a body.
His physical limbs expand, and his outline recedes,
vanishes.
He is rich and sweet and right.
He is part of the world, the atmosphere,
the blue sky and the blue water.
- Gwendolyn Brooks

Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down
as a self-evident proposition that no people ought
to be free till they are fit to use their freedom.
The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who
resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim.
- Thomas B. Macaulay

Venice, Italy, survives 365 days out of every year in water;
New Orleans can survive a few days of water if it has to.
- Billy Tauzin

Schools used to fund-raise for luxuries,
like a trip to the water slides.
Now, we fund-raise for things we have to have.
- Kirk Gibson

Society is like a large piece of frozen water;
and skating well is the great art o social life.
- Letitia Landon

Scalded cats fear even cold water.
- Thomas Fuller

I reflect back 35 years ago, and look how far we have
come in America with our environmental policy to improve
the conditions of our air and water,
and we have had some real successes.
- Jay Inslee

A sincere diplomat is like dry water or wooden iron.
- Joseph Stalin

I did not lose myself all at once.
I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain,
the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.
- Amy Tan

That was me under the bath and the water being held down.
The director wanted it to look as real as possible so he told Keanu,
in front of me, don't go easy on her.
So it was scary.
- Rachel Weisz

Beware of the man who will not engage in idle conversation;
he is planning to steal your walking stick or water your stock.
- William Emerson

This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Waterworld was the best time of my life.
It was physically demanding, but it was fun.
I mean, you're in Hawaii for nine months shooting on the water every day.
- David R. Ellis

Destiny is the prison and chain of the ignorant.
Understand that destiny like the water of the Nile:
Water before the faithful,
blood before the unbeliever.
- Muhammad Iqbal

I am in that temper that if I were under water I would
scarcely kick to come to the top.
- John Keats

My favorite water cooler topic is fantasy football.
I used to make fun of friends for doing it and now I'm obsessed.
- John Krasinski

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky,
are best relieved by the letting of a little water.
- Christopher Morley

You must be a lotus, unfolding its petals when the sun rises in the sky,
unaffected by the slush where it is born or even the water which sustains it!
- Sai Baba

The tree that is beside the running water is fresher and gives more fruit.
- Saint Teresa of Avila


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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