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Let these funny Biographies Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Great geniuses have the shortest biographies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
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I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer
These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill
In this life we cannot do great things.
We can only do small things with great love.
- Mother Teresa
All difficult things have
their origin in that which is easy,
and great things in that which is small.
- Lao Tzu
Just as a man would not cherish living
in a body other than his own,
so do nations not like to live under other nations,
however noble and great the latter may be.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
Do the difficult things while they are easy
and do the great things while they are small.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
Thinking is necessary, but not sufficient, for living a great life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu
Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.
The good news is that you don't know how great you can be!
How much you can love!
What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
- Anne Frank
Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative,
to which all beings owe their beginning
and which permeates all heaven.
- Lao Tzu
Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Because of a great love, one is courageous.
- Lao Tzu
No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans
I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks
in great and honorable courses
with a sure hope and trust in itself.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great acts are made up of small deeds.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.