Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Keep Quotes
Funny Quotes about Keep

Let these funny Keep Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash


 

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake,
not by mechanical aid, but by
an infinite expectation of the dawn.
- Henry David Thoreau

There's a saying.
If you want someone to love you forever,
buy a dog, feed it and keep it around.
- Dick Dale

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Keep the faith, don't lose your perseverance and always trust your gut extinct.
- Paula Abdul

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,
and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
- Jack Benny

Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The weeds keep multiplying in our garden,
which is our mind ruled by fear.
Rip them out and call them by name.
- Sylvia Browne

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

In love, one should simplify, choose persons worthy
of their promises and leave them if they don't keep them.
- Isabelle Adjani

Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if
the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.
- Cullen Hightower

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when
two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife,
confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
- Homer

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

We all keep dreaming, and luckily, dreams come true.
- Katie Holmes

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
- Vince Lombardi

The poet is one who is able to keep
the fresh vision of the child alive.
- Anais Nin

The promises we makes to ourselves are the things
that assure us we have the capacity to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I do get time, I like to hike and I take lots
of vitamins and powders to keep healthy.
- Catherine Bell

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
- Lao Tzu

Unless we keep this planet healthy, everything else is for naught.
- Victoria Principal

In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra

To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body,
the mind, and the heart.
And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise,
study, and love.
- Alan Bleasdale

The only wealth which you will keep forever
is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.
- Theodore Roethke

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens
we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.
- Andre Gide

Every parent is at some time the father of the unreturned prodigal,
with nothing to do but keep his house open to hope.
- John Ciardi

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

People who don't know how to keep themselves healthy
ought to have the decency to get themselves buried,
and not waste time about it.
- Henrik Ibsen

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
- Kin Hubbard

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
- Helen Keller

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves.
- August Strindberg

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir

People think computers will keep them from making mistakes.
They're wrong.
With computers you make mistakes faster.
- Adam Osborne

Keep silence for the most part,
and speak only when you must,
and then briefly.
- Epictetus

To keep your thinking young, stay curious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Thank you for visiting: Funny Keep Quotes - Funny Quotes about Keep.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.