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Funny Keep Quotes
Funny Quotes about Keep

Let these funny Keep Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)


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Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin


 

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
as you reach for the stars.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

The only wealth which you will keep forever
is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius

The poet is one who is able to keep
the fresh vision of the child alive.
- Anais Nin

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything,
I still believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Keep silence for the most part,
and speak only when you must,
and then briefly.
- Epictetus

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra

To keep your thinking young, stay curious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha

Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.
- Native American Proverb

Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

Keep the Faith.
- Anonymous

If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
- Helen Keller

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake,
not by mechanical aid, but by
an infinite expectation of the dawn.
- Henry David Thoreau

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

They don't call them DEADlines for nothing - keep breathing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

In the midst of movement and chaos,
keep stillness inside of you.
- Deepak Chopra

If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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