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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Ever Quotes
Funny Quotes about Ever

Let these funny Ever Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous


 

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin


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Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most...
I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it.
- William J. Clinton

Art begins with resistance - at the point where resistance is overcome.
No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor.
- Andre Gide

Books! I dunno if I ever told you this,
but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono

Life is ever giving of Itself.
We must receive, utilize and extend the gift.
Success and prosperity are spiritual attributes
belonging to all people.
- Ernest Holmes

The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives
is to think we work for anybody but ourselves.
- Brian Tracy

No man will ever carry out of the Presidency
the reputation which carried him into it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

But, alas!
what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have
a higher Design than to get her a Husband?
- Mary Astell

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the
most exquisite form of torture ever known to man:
survival.
- Edward Everett Hale

When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically,
by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
- Gore Vidal

There is nothing I ever need to have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So you think that money is the root of all evil.
Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
- Ayn Rand

No government ought to be without censors;
and where the press is free no one ever will.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
committed people can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead

The world is incomprehensible.
We won't ever understand it;
we won't ever unravel its secrets.
Thus we must treat the world as it is:
a sheer mystery.
- Carlos Castaneda

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The present is the ever moving shadow
that divides yesterday from tomorrow.
In that lies hope.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

My parents and my grandfather on my mom's side would travel the earth.
They went to Australia and China, and they went to
probably every soccer game I ever played.
- Brandi Chastain

True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body;
the two are ever united.
- Wilhelm von Humboldt

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else.
I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.
- Ken Venturi

Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Who would ever think that so much went on
in the soul of a young girl?
- Anne Frank

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we
have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
- Robert Orben

Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers,
the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters,
and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books.
- John Lubbock

Being a father helps me be more responsible...
you see more things than you've ever seen.
- Kid Rock

Nothing is ever absolutely "wrong."
"Wrong" is in the cultural tradition of the beholder.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus

No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The best money advice ever given me was from my father.
When I was a little girl, he told me,
'Don't spend anything unless you have to.'
- Dinah Shore

Have you ever hugged a tree?
Hug a tree, and one day you will come to know
that it is not only that
you have hugged the tree
but that the tree also responds,
the tree also hugs you.
- Osho

All experience is an arch wherethrough gleams that
untravelled world whose margin fades for ever and for ever when I move.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first,
friends and family second and you third,
we won't ever have an argument.
- Jeff Foxworthy


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.