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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Turn Quotes
Funny Quotes about Turn

Let these funny Turn Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong

Life was meant to be lived,
and curiosity must be kept alive.
One must never, for whatever reason,
turn his back on life.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


 

The healthy man does not torture others -
generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
- Carl Jung

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
- Hunter S. Thompson


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The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.
- Sydney J. Harris

I always turn to the sports pages first,
which records people's accomplishments.
The front page has nothing but man's failures.
- Earl Warren

Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Art is an invention of aesthetics, which in turn is
an invention of philosophers...
What we call art is a game.
- Octavio Paz

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you.
- Ralph Nader

Never give up, for that
is just the place and time
that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter

Hard work spotlights the character of people:
some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing

Love and death are the two great hinges on which all human sympathies turn.
- B. R. Hayden

When the water starts boiling
it is foolish to turn off the heat.
- Nelson Mandela

Baseball is a public trust.
Players turn over, owners turn over and certain commissioners turn over.
But baseball goes on.
- Peter Ueberroth

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.
- Henry David Thoreau

Fear grows in darkness;
if you think there's a bogeyman around,
turn on the light.
- Dorothy Thompson

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau

O man you are busy working for the world,
and the world is busy trying to turn you out.
- Abu Bakr

You can turn painful situations around through laughter.
If you can find humor in anything, even poverty,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

A little more persistence,
a little more effort, and
what seemed hopeless failure
may turn to glorious success.
- Elbert Hubbard

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
- Oprah Winfrey

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux
pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
- Wilson Mizner

Love that does not renew itself every day
becomes a habit and in turn a slavery.
- Khalil Gibran

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

We receive this food in gratitude to all beings
Who have helped to bring it to our table,
And vow to respond in turn to those in need
With wisdom and compassion.
- Buddhist Blessing

You know that you have fully experienced love
when you turn into love -
that is the spiritual goal of life.
- Deepak Chopra

Many people are in the dark when it comes to money,
and I'm going to turn on the lights.
- Suze Orman

Take young researchers, put them together in virtual seclusion,
give them an unprecedented degree of freedom and turn
up the pressure by fostering competitiveness.
- James D. Watson

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.
- Max Lucado

Wisdom stands at the turn in the road and calls upon us publicly,
but we consider it false and despise its adherents.
- Khalil Gibran

Thinkers do not accept the inevitable;
they turn their efforts toward changing it.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain
about what he wants and sets out to get it,
no holds barred.
Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.
- Donald Trump

A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking
only to learn that it is God shaking them.
- Charles West

Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth
can ever turn it into a fact.
- Honore de Balzac

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
- Kin Hubbard

When you get into a tight place
and everything goes against you,
till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer,
never give up then, for that is just
the place and time the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird:
it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to
fly while remaining an egg.
We are like eggs at present.
And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary,
decent egg.
We must be hatched or go bad.
- C. S. Lewis

Every decision you make - every decision -
is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations
turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie

Learning is a result of listening, which in turn leads
to even better listening and attentiveness to the other person.
In other words, to learn from the child,
we must have empathy, and empathy grows as we learn.
- Alice Miller

One ought never to turn one's back
on a threatened danger and try to run away from it.
If you do that, you will double the danger.
But if you meet it promptly and without flinching,
you will reduce the danger by half.
Never run away from anything. Never!
- Winston Churchill

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks.
I've had them; everybody has had them.
But obstacles don't have to stop you.
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it,
or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

However carefully we plan our future,
we are always climbing the steps to nowhere.
While it is important to our happiness
that we have an intent for our lives,
it is equally crucial to accept in advance
that we truly have no idea how our lives will turn out -
and that is good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

They're protecting an archaic industry.
They should turn their attention to new models.
- Bob Weir

If I were a Roman Catholic, I should turn a heretic,
in sheer desperation, because I would rather go to
heaven than go to purgatory.
- Charles Spurgeon

As for ourselves, yes, we must be meek,
bear injustice, malice, rash judgment.
We must turn the other cheek, give up our cloak,
go a second mile.
- Dorothy Day

I'd never choose to turn the clock back.
- Geri Halliwell

There is as much greatness of mind in acknowledging a good turn,
as in doing it.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I turn over a new leaf every day.
But the blots show through.
- Keith Waterhouse

When I have clarified and exhausted a subject,
then I turn away from it, in order to go into darkness again.
- Carl Friedrich Gauss

Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

I mean, if you turn on the radio, love is 90 percent of the music.
- Enrique Iglesias

I want to turn the clock back to when people lived
in small villages and took care of each other.
- Pete Seeger

Those who know me know I won't hesitate to turn around and point someone out.
- Jim Lehrer

My sense about Greta is that people ought to wait and
see and see if she doesn't indeed turn out to be as
balanced as we hope and expect she will.
But there you are.
- Brit Hume

I'll have the music, and then I'll just turn the microphone on,
press Play and Record and sing.
And whatever comes out ends up being the melody.
- Phil Collins

Obstacles don't have to stop you.
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it,
or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Children always turn to the light.
- David Hare

We love those who know the worst of us and don't turn their faces away.
- Walker Percy

When you turn professional, you become an entertainer,
and like every other entertainer, you don't want to get a bad review.
- Scott Hamilton


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.