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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Red Quotes
Funny Quotes about Red

Let these funny Red Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer


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Be an Original, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat, dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
- Robert Burns

Open the gates and roll out the red carpet,
for I am entering the kingdom of peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole
for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast
and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat -
dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If by chance some day you're not feeling well
and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done
and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,
then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
- Red Skelton

We each have a sixth sense that is
attuned to the oneness dimension in life,
providing a means for us to guide our lives
in accord with our ideas.
- Henry Reed

It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning
wondering what my intuition
will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea.
I work with it and rely on it. It's my partner.
- Jonas Salk

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor,
nor should life rest on a single hope.
- Epictetus

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Neale Donald Walsch

FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch

The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life's real lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha

All that is real is seen with the heart.
- Vivian Greene

Love: if you have to ask,
it's not the real thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The real us is pure love, pure light
- don Miguel Ruiz

To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein

Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Real love is accepting other people the way they are
without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The real lessons from the book of life
are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver

We know nothing at all.
All our knowledge is but the knowledge of schoolchildren.
The real nature of things we shall never know.
- Albert Einstein

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

Dispassionate objectivity is itself a passion,
for the real and for the truth.
- Abraham Maslow

In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day

What I cannot love, I overlook.
Is that real friendship?
- Anais Nin

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln

Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What is real is beyond all reach.
- Julian Green

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius

Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham

Life is a Book of Riddles,
with the Real Lessons Writ Small in its Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only a man's character is the real criterion of worth.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You cannot lose your real treasure.
- Osho

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Even in the Christian religion,
much of its real meaning is hidden by words
that are misleading and symbols that but few understand.
- Ernest Holmes

Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily,
but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are
not glass threads or frost-work,
but the solidest thing we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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