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A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
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A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.