Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Stupid Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stupid

Let these funny Stupid Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Stupid is as stupid does.
- the movie Forrest Gump (1994)


 

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

An instructed and intelligent people
are always more decent and orderly
than an ignorant and stupid one.
- Adam Smith

If you want to improve,
be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
- Epictetus

Love is being stupid together.
- Paul Valery

If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman

Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous

It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

This is the answer to all questions about relationship.
When two people sing their lives in harmony,
their lives are grand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All philosophy lies in two words,
sustain and abstain.
- Epictetus

Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ...
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To live a satisfying life requires two steps...
1. Plan your life goals.
2. Act on your plan - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb

Pride comes in two flavors -
be careful which you choose -
choose honor, not ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous

Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley

There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda


Thank you for visiting: Funny Stupid Quotes - Funny Quotes about Stupid.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.