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Funny Years Quotes
Funny Quotes about Years

Let these funny Years Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

I haven't spoken to my wife in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family
belonged to another church.
- Paul Lynde


 

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Old is always fifteen years from now.
- Bill Cosby


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The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein

Anger is a destructive emotion
that becomes instinctive over the years.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a man goes through six years training to be a
doctor he will never be the same.
He knows too much.
- Enid Bagnold

Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
- Rupert Brooke

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Steven Wright

I followed the same diet for 20 years,
eliminating starches, living on salads,
lean meat, and small portions.
- Gene Tierney

You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

People - not just in their teenage years -
hold on to this fantasy of love when they're not ready
to have a real relationship.
- Keri Russell

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.
We grow old by deserting our ideals.
Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
- Samuel Ullman

I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand

Population, when unchecked, goes on doubling itself
every 25 years or increases in a geometrical ratio.
- Thomas Malthus

Politics, it seems to me, for years,
or all too long,
has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
- E. B. White

I got through my teen years by being a bit of a clown.
- Diane Cilento

If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will never be an old man.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
- Francis Bacon

The modern assault on the environment began about 50 years ago,
during and immediately after World War II.
- Barry Commoner

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill

And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

It takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
- Anonymous

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat.
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra
three years in the geriatric ward.
- John Mortimer

Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success.
- Samuel Goldwyn

My hope is that 10 years from now, after I've been
across the street at work for a while,
they'll all be glad they gave me that wonderful vote.
- Sandra Day O'Connor

While one finds company in himself and his pursuits,
he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.
- Amos Bronson Alcott

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb.
After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to
find out how much he'd learned in three years.
- Frank Butler

We are asking the nations of Europe
between whom rivers of blood have flowed
to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
- Winston Churchill

Thirty to 40 years ago, most financial decisions were fairly simple.
- Scott Cook

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not
for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
- Logan P. Smith

People in cities may forget the soil for as long as a hundred years,
but Mother Nature's memory is long and she will not
let them forget indefinitely.
- Henry Cantwell Wallace

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

In youth the days are short and the years are long.
In old age the years are short and day's long.
- Pope Paul VI

Within 10 years it will be impossible to travel to
the North Pole by dog team.
There will be too much open water.
- Will Steger

Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was
in my class for five years.
- Gracie Allen

I haven't, in the 23 years that I have been in the
uniformed services of the United States of America,
ever violated an order - not one.
- Oliver North

A man who views the world the same at fifty
as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.
- Muhammad Ali

I pray God may preserve your health and life many years.
- Junipero Serra

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison

Sadly, embryonic stem cell research is completely legal
in this country and has been going on at universities
and research facilities for years.
- Mike Pence

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.
- Frederick Douglass

The way you think, the way you behave,
the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years.
- Deepak Chopra

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about
your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
- Grantland Rice

It is only after years of preparation that the young
artist should touch color -
not color used descriptively,
that is, but as a means of personal expression.
- Henri Matisse

My teenage years were exactly what they were supposed to be.
Everybody has their own path.
It's laid out for you.
It's just up to you to walk it.
- Justin Timberlake

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago,
Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
- Lenny Bruce

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
- John Burroughs

I spent the first fourteen years of my life convinced
that my looks were hideous.
Adolescence is painful for everyone,
I know,
but mine was plain weird.
- Uma Thurman

I think and think for months and years.
Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right.
- Albert Einstein

It was an honor and privilege to arrive to this country
16 years ago with almost no money in my pocket.
A lot has happened since then.
- Antonio Banderas

There is always some specific moment when we become
aware that our youth is gone;
but,
years after, we know it was much later.
- Mignon McLaughlin

I have been dairy free for several years,
and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies,
which it did, and help me lose weight,
which it did.
- Fran Drescher

The concept of two people living together for 25 years
without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit
only to be admired in sheep.
- A. P. Herbert


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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