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Funny Theory Quotes
Funny Quotes about Theory

Let these funny Theory Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
- Mike Myers

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra


 

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

Science is organized common sense where many a beautiful
theory was killed by an ugly fact.
- Thomas Huxley


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Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man.
Man is not a finished creation.
- Edmund Burke

He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
- Niels Bohr

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings
of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
- Mark Russell

My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson

Scientific theory is a contrived foothold in the chaos of living phenomena.
- Wilhelm Reich

I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel

Without revolutionary theory there can be no revolutionary movement.
- Vladimir Lenin

Even before I came to Chicago, I had gotten interested
in the existence of dispersion of prices under conditions
which economic theory said would yield a single price.
- George Stigler

I'm a games and theory kind of guy.
I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose.
- Neil Patrick Harris

A major fault, for example, is the fact that,
along with the materialist principle,
Darwin introduced into his theory of evolution reactionary Malthusian ideas.
- Trofim Lysenko

Theory not only formulates what we know but also tells us what we want to know,
that is, the questions to which an answer is needed.
- Talcott Parsons

It really is a nice theory.
The only defect I think it has is probably common to
all philosophical theories.
It's wrong.
- Saul Kripke

Architecture doesn't come from theory.
You don't think your way through a building.
- Arthur Erickson

So when you ask me how string theory might be tested,
I can tell you what's likely to happen at accelerators
or some parts of the theory that are likely to be tested.
- Edward Witten

Freud was a hero.
He descended to the Underworld and met there stark terrors.
He carried with him his theory as a Medusa's head which
turned these terrors to stone.
- R. D. Laing

Christianity is not a theory or speculation,
but a life; not a philosophy of life,
but a life and a living process.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The theory of Communism may be summed up in one sentence:
Abolish all private property.
- Karl Marx

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
- H. L. Mencken

My theory was that what I had to do was make a study of human behavior.
- A. E. van Vogt

Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy,
not a scientific fact.
Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it.
Only atheists could accept this Satanic theory.
- Jimmy Swaggart

My theory is, if you can do comedy and you can be in
a scene with someone like Brad Garrett and hold your own,
you've really got a future in this business.
- Faith Ford

And capital punishment, however ineffective it may
be and through whatever ignorance it may be resorted to,
is a strictly defensive act, - at least in theory.
- Benjamin Tucker

I have a tendency to often share the point of view
of the conspiracy theory.
- Marion Cotillard

I call it like the domino theory of reality.
If you can go one step at a time and it seems to make sense,
you can then take your audience into an area that is relatively outlandish.
- Ivan Reitman

Architecture theory is very interesting.
- David Byrne

All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree
of life springs ever green.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The whole theory of the universe is directed unerringly
to one single individual.
- Walt Whitman

The theory of cultural bias...
is the idea that a culture is based on a particular form of organization.
It can't be transplanted except to another variant of that organization.
- Mary Douglas

The human species, according to the best theory I can form of it,
is composed of two distinct races, the men who borrow and the men who lend.
- Charles Lamb

Some people wish above all to conform to the rules,
I wish only to render what I can hear.
There is no theory.
You have only to listen.
Pleasure is the law.
- Claude Debussy

Minimalism now is a reaction to what came before.
It's absolutely of its time.
Music moved into the set theory thing,
and moved out of it.
- Harrison Birtwistle

Indeed, this epistemological theory of the relation
between theory and experiment differs sharply from
the epistemological theory of naive falsificationism.
- Imre Lakatos

The worst censors are those prohibiting criticism of
the theory of evolution in the classroom.
- Phyllis Schlafly

If the Confederacy fails, there should be written on its tombstone:
Died of a Theory.
- Jefferson Davis

I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time,
somehow things will work out in the end.
- Larry Bird

The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection
is the only theory we know of that is in principle
capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
- Richard Dawkins

I have a theory about that, if you have to say something,
if you have encourage for one second a prospective acting student -
he should not go in to acting.
- Dabney Coleman

The classical example of a successful research programme
is Newton's gravitational theory:
possibly the most successful research programme ever.
- Imre Lakatos

My theory is if you have a religion,
it's a good one.
Because some people don't have any at all.
- Tom T. Hall

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
- Steven Wright

Beautiful Evidence is about the theory and practice of analytical design.
- Edward Tufte

There was a long history of speculation that in quantum gravity,
unlike Einstein's classical theory, it might be possible
for the topology of spacetime to change.
- Edward Witten

There is no falsification before the emergence of a better theory.
- Imre Lakatos

Beck said he didn't believe in the theory of a song
coming through you as if you were an open vessel.
I agree with him to a certain extent.
- Sheryl Crow

As the new endogenous growth theory suggests,
TFP growth is closely related to accumulation of the intangible capitals,
such as human capital and research and development.
- Toshihiko Fukui

I grow daily to honour facts more and more,
and theory less and less.
A fact, it seems to me, is a great thing;
a sentence printed,
if not by God, then at least by the Devil.
- Thomas Carlyle

The state of the world, of course, is constantly changing,
and so is theory.
- Teresa de Lauretis

But the scientific importance of a change in knowledge
of fact consists precisely in j its having consequences for a system of theory.
- Talcott Parsons

There is no controversy within science over the core
proposition of evolutionary theory.
- Kenneth Miller

Einstein explained his theory to me every day,
and on my arrival I was fully convinced that he understood it.
- Chaim Weizmann

While gossip among women is universally ridiculed as low and trivial,
gossip among men, especially if it is about women,
is called theory, or idea, or fact.
- Andrea Dworkin

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does
what it's supposed to do.
- Robert A. Heinlein

According to the now almost universally accepted theory,
all the races of mankind had a common origin.
- Ellsworth Huntington

An argument fatal to the communist theory,
is suggested by the fact, that a desire for property
is one of the elements of our nature.
- Herbert Spencer

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure
he is one of God's children,
but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
- H. L. Mencken

What has any poet to trust more than the feel of the
thing? Theory concerns him only until he picks up his pen,
and it begins to concern him again as soon as he lays it down.
- John Ciardi

In this movement of colors I find the essence,
which does not arise from a system, or an a priori theory.
- Robert Delaunay

The proposition that humans have mental characteristics
wholly absent in non-humans is inconsistent with the theory of evolution.
- Gary L. Francione

I have never believed in the Wizard of Oz theory of consulting,
that I am all-knowing and all-seeing,
and that everyone around me is kind of a backbencher.
- David Axelrod

The knowledge of the theory of logic has no tendency
whatever to make men good reasoners.
- Thomas B. Macaulay


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