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Funny Something Quotes
Funny Quotes about Something

Let these funny Something Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced
so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler


 

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster


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If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

Be not merely good; be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies.
- Gustave Flaubert

Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.
- Andre Breton

We never NEED anything; we never NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore.
There is always something to make you wonder
in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.
- Albert Schweitzer

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Helen Keller

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design for the present.
- Jim Rohn

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth -
something very difficult for a politician.
Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it.
- Edward Koch

For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression
by saying something,
and sometimes one creates as significant
an impression by remaining silent.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you,
fame.
If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle.
So at least it's something I experience,
but that's not where I live.
- Marilyn Monroe

Once in a while I'll get moved to do some exercise.
It's something I long for but the biggest problem is
bending down and putting my tennis shoes on.
Once I go out I'm OK.
- David Soul

It seems that every time mankind is given a lot of energy,
we go out and wreck something with it.
- David R. Brower

Just because something doesn't do what you planned
it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
- Thomas A. Edison

Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else
is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

The way people in democracies think of the government
as something different from themselves is a real handicap.
And, of course, sometimes the government confirms their opinion.
- Lewis Mumford

If people destroy something replaceable made by mankind,
they are called vandals; if they destroy something
irreplaceable made by God,
they are called developers.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

My father was something of a rainbow-chaser.
- Marc Davis

Having inner beauty is something you develop on your own,
and I like to think I have that.
- Cindy Margolis

Trouble is, kids feel they have to shock their elders
and each generation grows up into something harder to shock.
- Ben Lindsey

Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour

A poem is true if it hangs together.
Information points to something else.
A poem points to nothing but itself.
- E. M. Forster

I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel

Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom
understand that the impulse to blame
something or someone is foolishness,
that there is nothing to be gained in blaming,
whether it be others or oneself.
- Epictetus

If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible,
he is almost certainly right; but if he says that it is impossible,
he is very probably wrong.
- Arthur C. Clarke

One of the things I was taught in law school is that
I'd never be able to think the same again -
that being a lawyer is something that's part of who
I am as an individual now.
- Anita Hill

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Music doesn't lie.
If there is something to be changed in this world,
then it can only happen through music.
- Jimi Hendrix


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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