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Funny Something Quotes
Funny Quotes about Something

Let these funny Something Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)


 

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous


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Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda

For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Helen Keller

A hero is someone who has given his life to
something bigger than himself
or something other than himself.
- Joseph Campbell

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson

You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)

Let everyone try and find that
as a result of daily prayer
he adds something new to his life,
something with which nothing can be compared.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every thought you think
and every word you speak
is affirming something.
- Louise L. Hay

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted,
but beholds it as something
unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
- Albert Schweitzer

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

Service is the rent we pay for being.
It is the very purpose of life,
and not something you do in your spare time.
- Marion Wright Edelman

To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett

To oppose something is to maintain it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We never NEED anything; we never NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be not merely good; be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour

Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays

Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake;
... shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good;
... shame says I am no good.
- John Bradshaw

When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

To be yourself in a world that
is constantly trying to make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore.
There is always something to make you wonder
in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.
- Albert Schweitzer

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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