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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Human Quotes
Funny Quotes about Human

Let these funny Human Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau


 

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson


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The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau

Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead

The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.
- John Galsworthy

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung

We cannot despair of humanity,
since we ourselves are human beings.
- Albert Einstein

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

Success for me its to raise happy, healthy human beings.
- Kelly LeBrock

What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel

A man has made at least a start on discovering the
meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under
which he knows full well he will never sit.
- D. Elton Trueblood

Design is directed toward human beings.
To design is to solve human problems by identifying
them and executing the best solution.
- Ivan Chermayeff

Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams,
but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit,
compassion, love, and understanding.
- Louis Gerstner

To err is human, to forgive divine.
- Alexander Pope

All human beings are also dream beings.
Dreaming ties all mankind together.
- Jack Kerouac

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
- Harold Wilson

Man's enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself.
- Lao Tzu

The essence of being human is that one
does not seek perfection.
- George Orwell

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability
to learn from the experience of others,
are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
- Douglas Adams

Style used to be an interaction between the human soul
and tools that were limiting.
In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone.
- Jaron Lanier

Sometimes our light goes out but
is blown into flame by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks
to those who have rekindled this light.
- Albert Schweitzer

Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious,
one should preserve it.
- Anais Nin

Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns,
do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior,
that they are so united to creative people.
- Andre Norton

Divine love will meet all human needs
- Mary Baker Eddy

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

Human beings must be known to be loved;
but Divine beings must be loved to be known.
- Blaise Pascal

The human brain starts working the moment you are born
and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
- George Jessel

Art begins with resistance - at the point where resistance is overcome.
No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor.
- Andre Gide

There is no truth, only human opinion.
- Anonymous

We may have different religions, different
languages, different colored skin,
but we all belong to one human race.
- Kofi Annan

I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The human body is the best picture of the human soul.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

So vast is art, so narrow human wit.
- Alexander Pope


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.