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Funny Human Quotes
Funny Quotes about Human

Let these funny Human Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White


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Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein


 

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau

The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.
- John Galsworthy

Action is no less necessary than thought
to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Divine love will meet all human needs
- Mary Baker Eddy

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
- Socrates

What do you take for granted?
It is human nature to take everything for granted -
our companions, our homes,
our electricity, our TVs and computers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Government is a contrivance
of human wisdom to provide for human wants.
People have the right to expect that these wants
will be provided for by this wisdom.
- Jimmy Carter

Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong

I am a plain ordinary magnificent creation of God,
just like every other plain ordinary
mountain, ocean, tree, animal, and human.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To deal with individual human needs
at the everyday level can be noble sometimes.
- Jimmy Carter

Humanitarianism consists in never sacrificing
a human being to a purpose.
- Albert Schweitzer

Be a Human BEing Rather Than a Human DOing.
- Anonymous

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy,
because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.
- Jimmy Carter

There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James

Nature and human life are as various
as our several constitutions.
Who shall say what prospect life offers to another?
- Henry David Thoreau

Nature is not human hearted.
- Lao Tzu

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller

Each and every human being on Earth
has both the responsibility and the privilege
of viewing themselves as Divine beings
with the power to bring about peace.
- James Twyman

We can live without religion and meditation,
but we cannot survive without human affection.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

We may have found a cure for most evils;
but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all,
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

It's humbling to think that all animals,
including human beings,
are parasites of the plant world.
- Isaac Asimov

Few are the giants of the soul that actually feel
that the human race is their family circle.
- Freya Stark

Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha

What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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