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Funny Morality Quotes
Funny Quotes about Morality

Let these funny Morality Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein


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Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler


 

Aim above morality.
Be not simply good,
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Morality is contraband in war.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
- Albert Schweitzer

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To say that authority, whether secular or religious,
supplies no ground for morality
is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
- Joseph Addison

Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein

Truth is certainly a branch of morality
and a very important one to society.
- Thomas Jefferson

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

Morality is the basis of things
and truth is the substance of all morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Compassion is the basis of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

The moral arc of the universe
bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A person acting from a motivation
of contribution and service
rises to such a level of moral authority
that worldly success is a natural result.
- Marianne Williamson

About morals: I know only that
what is moral is what you feel good after
and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
- Ernest Hemingway

It is curious - curious that physical courage
should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
- Mark Twain

The interests of a nation, when well understood,
will be found to coincide with their moral duties.
- Thomas Jefferson

Compassion is the universal standard of moral living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin

The acceptance of oneself is
the essence of the whole moral problem
and the epitome of a whole outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those
who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

The perception of beauty is a moral test.
- Henry David Thoreau

A true "moral compass" never points toward discrimination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we are to go forward, we must go back
and rediscover those precious values -
that all reality hinges on moral foundations
and that all reality has spiritual control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am not interested in power for power's sake,
but I'm interested in power that is moral,
that is right and that is good.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I look forward to a great future for America -
a future in which our country will match its military strength
with our moral restraint,
its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose.
- John F. Kennedy

The limitation of riots, moral questions aside,
is that they cannot win and their participants know it.
Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary
because it invites defeat.
It involves an emotional catharsis,
but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am an Epicurean.
I consider the genuine (not the imputed) doctrines of Epicurus
as containing everything rational in moral philosophy
which Greek and Roman leave to us.
- Thomas Jefferson

Fame is morally neutral.
- Edward R. Murrow

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain

Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment,
and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility
in the realm of faith and morals.
- Albert Schweitzer

Never let your sense of morals
get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain

To educate a person in mind and not in morals
is to educate a menace to society.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Every fact is related on one side to sensation,
and, on the other, to morals.
The game of thought is, on the appearance
of one of these two sides,
to find the other: given the upper, to find the under side.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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