Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Samaritans Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain
Let him that would move the world first move himself.
- Socrates
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg
We first make our habits, then our habits make us.
- John Dryden
Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
If you would take, you must first give,
this is the beginning of intelligence.
- Lao Tzu
First say to yourself what you would be;
then do what you have to do.
- Epictetus
In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Self-trust is the first secret of success.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus
"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter F. Drucker
If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
- Proverb
A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Know first that you have absolutely no power to change the world,
and then address all your energies and intent toward improving it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank you for visiting: Funny Samaritans Quotes - Funny Quotes about Samaritans.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.