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Funny Same Quotes
Funny Quotes about Same

Let these funny Same Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman


 

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of
you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns,
then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
- Bill Cosby

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby


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Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again,
but expecting different results.
- Rita Mae Brown, also attributed to Einstein

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

What is it about sameness that so draws me,
and how could I begin to have
that same kind of attraction to change?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet.
We all breathe the same air.
We all cherish our children's future.
And we are all mortal.
- John F. Kennedy

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill

In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges.
Cats have the courage to live by them.
- Jim Davis

Money is always there but the pockets change;
it is not in the same pockets after a change,
and that is all there is to say about money.
- Gertrude Stein

I didn't have the same fitness or ability as the other girls,
so I had to beat them with my mind.
- Martina Hingis

The god who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time:
the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis

The intellect is a cold thing
and a merely intellectual idea
will never stimulate thought
in the same manner that a spiritual idea does.
- Ernest Holmes

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time.
Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have
the power to choose either.
- Wayne Dyer

Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would have probably stolen cars - it would have given
me the same adrenaline rush as racing.
- Valentino Rossi

We approach people the same way we approach our cars.
We take the poor kid to a doctor and ask,
What's wrong with him, how much will it cost,
and when can I pick him up?
- James Hillman

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A woman has to be intelligent, have charm,
a sense of humor, and be kind.
It's the same qualities I require from a man.
- Catherine Deneuve

One will never again look at a birch tree,
after the Robert Frost poem, in exactly the same way.
- Paul Muldoon

A physician's physiology has much the same relation
to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has
to his power of influencing conduct.
- Samuel Butler

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability
to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time
and still retain the ability to function.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

When a man goes through six years training to be a
doctor he will never be the same.
He knows too much.
- Enid Bagnold

Some people are willing to pay the price and it's the
same with staying healthy or eating healthy.
There's some discipline involved.
There's some sacrifices.
- Mike Ditka

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter.
The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today,
even for the same performance.
- William O. Douglas

Building art is a synthesis of life in materialised form.
We should try to bring in under the same hat not a
splintered way of thinking,
but all in harmony together.
- Alvar Aalto

The sky is the limit.
You never have the same experience twice.
- Frank McCourt

Though we may know Him by a thousand names,
He is one and the same to us all.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life and death are one thread,
the same line viewed from different sides.
- Lao Tzu

The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you;
but if a cat does the same thing,
it is because your lap is warmer.
- Alfred North Whitehead

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...
I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Steven Wright

By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.
- Albert Einstein

No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein

Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Celebration has many different outfits
but she always wears the same beautiful dancing shoes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man.
An intelligent woman gives up.
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy

Unless we place our religion
and our treasure in the same thing,
religion will always be sacrificed.
- Epictetus

Music is something that always lifts my spirits and makes me happy,
and when I make music I always hope it will have the
same effect on whoever listens to it.
- Aaron Carter

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

We do not yet possess ourselves,
and we know at the same time
that we are much more.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same
look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
- Paula Poundstone

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing
over and over and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein

Loving is not just looking at each other,
it's looking in the same direction.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Run a home like you would a small business and treat
it with the same seriousness.
- Anthea Turner


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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