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Funny Clothes Quotes
Funny Quotes about Clothes

Let these funny Clothes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller


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Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

You don't love someone for their looks,
or their clothes, or for their fancy car,
but because they sing a song only you can hear.
- Anonymous

I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser

Are creeds such simple things like the clothes
which a man can change at will - and put on at will?
Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Few people know how to take a walk.
The qualifications are endurance,
plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature,
good humor, vast curiosity, good speech,
good silence and nothing too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We can no more do without spirituality
than we can do without food, shelter, or clothing.
- Ernest Holmes

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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