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Funny Said Quotes
Funny Quotes about Said

Let these funny Said Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
- Calvin Coolidge

I never said most of the things I said.
- Yogi Berra

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West


 

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Drawing on my fine command of the English language,
I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley


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"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Happy is said to be the family which can eat onions together.
They are, for the time being, separate,
from the world, and have a harmony of aspiration.
- Charles Dudley Warner

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis,
and I said compared to who?
- Jay London

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

I'm an advocate of the great Dr. Johnson, the English
man of letters who said that patriotism was the last refuge of the scoundrel.
- George Galloway

As Daddy said, life is 95 percent anticipation.
- Gloria Swanson

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in
love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
- Josh Billings

In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I had never been able to get a car that said how much
I cared about the environment until I drove electric.
- Alexandra Paul

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed
class in America right now is the teenager.
- Joe Bob Briggs

It's said in Hollywood that you should always forgive your enemies -
because you never know when you'll have to work with them.
- Lana Turner

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday,
so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson

You know, Willie Wonka said it best:
we are the makers of dreams,
the dreamers of dreams.
- Herb Brooks

It has been well said that a hungry man is more interested
in four sandwiches than four freedoms.
- Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

Music expresses that which can not be said
and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo

If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No."
- Margaret Smith

My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone.
- Damon Wayans

My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier,
you will become a general.
If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.'
Instead,
I was a painter, and became Picasso.
- Pablo Picasso

My mom always said that there would be haters.
Not everyone can love ya.
- Joel Madden

I've said it before, but it's absolutely true:
My mother gave me my drive,
but my father gave me my dreams.
Thanks to him, I could see a future.
- Liza Minelli

It has been said that 80% of what people learn is visual.
- Allen Klein

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said,
'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
- Sam Levenson

No one ever said on their deathbed, 'Gee,
I wish I had spent more time alone with my computer'.
- Danielle Berry

Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens
we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.
- Andre Gide

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.
- Calvin Coolidge

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,'
probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- Woody Allen

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn
care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen

We can only be said to be truly alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
- Thornton Wilder

John Candy knew he was going to die.
He told me on his 40th birthday.
He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.
- Maureen O'Hara

Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
- Karl Barth

I've said that playing the blues is like having to be black twice.
Stevie Ray Vaughan missed on both counts,
but I never noticed.
- B. B. King

I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

My dad always said, 'Don't worry what people think,
because you can't change it.'
- Daisy Donovan

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Examine what is said, not him who speaks.
- Arabian Proverb

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing
his decision on stem cell research.
He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.
- Jay Leno

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.