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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Place Quotes
Funny Quotes about Place

Let these funny Place Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

California is a fine place to live -
if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen


 

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
- Helen Keller

I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill


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Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

When you dance, your purpose is not to get
to a certain place on the floor.
It's to enjoy each step along the way.
- Wayne Dyer

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living.
It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built.
Where trust is, love can flourish.
- Barbara Smith

Now we have a problem in making our power credible,
and Vietnam is the place.
- John F. Kennedy

If a tree dies, plant another in its place.
- Carolus Linnaeus

I challenge you to be dreamers; I challenge you to
be doers and let us make the greatest place in the world even better.
- Brian Schweitzer

Learn to become still. And to take your attention
away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith

This is the city of dreamers and time and again it's
the place where the greatest dream of all,
the American dream, has been tested and has triumphed.
- Michael Bloomberg

The price of every thing rises and falls from time
to time and place to place;
and with every such change the purchasing power of
money changes so far as that thing goes.
- Alfred Marshall

The only place where your dream becomes impossible
is in your own thinking.
- Robert H. Schuller

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those
who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare

The garden suggests there might be a place where we can meet nature halfway.
- Michael Pollan

Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nature is so powerful, so strong.
Capturing its essence is not easy - your work becomes
a dance with light and the weather.
It takes you to a place within yourself.
- Annie Leibovitz

You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I'm trusting and being myself...
everything in my life reflects this
by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
- Shakti Gawain

Home is the place we love best and grumble the most.
- Billy Sunday

I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Merely to avoid harming others is not enough.
Earn your place in this world by doing good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give me a lever long enough
and a fulcrum on which to place it,
and I shall move the world.
- Archimedes

I am not bound for any public place,
but for ground of my own where I have planted vines and orchard trees,
and in the heat of the day climbed up into the healing shadow of the woods.
- Wendell Berry

See God in every person, place, and thing,
and all will be well in your world.
- Louise L. Hay

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
- Robert Southey

The world is a better place because I am here.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never give up, for that
is just the place and time
that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

All men are created equal, it is only men themselves
who place themselves above equality.
- David Allan Coe

Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller

Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead.
Worry gets you no place.
- Roy Acuff

There is no place where we can safely store worn-out
reactors or their garbage.
No place!
- David R. Brower

Show me your hands.
Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet.
Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart.
Have you left a place for divine love?
- Fulton J. Sheen

The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis

From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place:
from the sky,
from the earth, from a scrap of paper,
from a passing shape, from a spider's web.
- Pablo Picasso

Family life itself, that safest, most traditional,
most approved of female choices, is not a sanctuary:
It is,
perpetually, a dangerous place.
- Margaret Drabble

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
- Zora Neale Hurston

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one,
particularly if he plays golf.
- Bertrand Russell

When you are fitted in a racing car and you race to win,
second or third place is not enough.
- Ayrton Senna

Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family
waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
- Earl Wilson

If the laws could speak for themselves,
they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.
- Lord Halifax

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

Take care of your body.
It's the only place you have to live.
- Jim Rohn

Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking
place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity.
- Billie Jean King

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

One does not need buildings, money, power,
or status to practice the Art of Peace.
Heaven is right where you are standing,
and that is the place to train.
- Morihei Ueshiba

You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world.
But it takes people to make the dream a reality.
- Walt Disney

A good question is never answered.
It is not a bolt to be tightened into place
but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed
toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.
- John Ciardi

No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela

Relief has its place. But what the people need
is not relief, but release -
release of their own potential for development.
- Jimmy Yen


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.