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Let these funny Puzzle Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain 
The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Let there be peace on earth.
And let it begin with me.
- Jill Jackson Miller
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
We must become the change we wish to see in the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
- Yogi Berra
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we cannot now end our differences,
at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.
- John F. Kennedy
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill
Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The hope of a secure and livable world
lies with disciplined nonconformists
who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The cleansing fire of Spirit
consumes the troubles of this world.
Feed your concerns to the fire.
Breathe deeply and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
A Single Generosity Enlarges the World.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Choose the World You See,
and See the World You Choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not.
- Bono
Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just when the caterpillar thought
the world was over, it became a butterfly.
- Anonymous
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu
Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis
There is more hunger for love and appreciation
in this world than for bread.
- Mother Teresa
"Go to the people and live among them
in order to know them and learn from them.
- Jimmy Yen
An individual has not started living
until he can rise above the narrow confines
of his individualistic concerns
to the broader concerns of all humanity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
There was a time when a man was so convinced
that the world was round
that he was determined to prove it.
- Ernest Holmes
When you lose touch with yourself,
you lose yourself in the world.
- Eckhart Tolle
We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru
This world is but a canvas to our imagination.
- Henry David Thoreau
To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal
is our only legitimate hope of survival.
- Wendell Berry
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The world is more malleable than you think
and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch
May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
The world is a mirror for anger,
which returns to its source as burning torment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.