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Funny World Quotes
Funny Quotes about World

Let these funny World Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr


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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll


 

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must become the change we wish to see in the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
- Yogi Berra

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let there be peace on earth.
And let it begin with me.
- Jill Jackson Miller

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not.
- Bono

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

The cleansing fire of Spirit
consumes the troubles of this world.
Feed your concerns to the fire.
Breathe deeply and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just when the caterpillar thought
the world was over, it became a butterfly.
- Anonymous

A Single Generosity Enlarges the World.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Choose the World You See,
and See the World You Choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we cannot now end our differences,
at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.
- John F. Kennedy

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The hope of a secure and livable world
lies with disciplined nonconformists
who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
I can never be what I ought to be
until you are what you ought to be.
This is the interrelated structure of reality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch

We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We won't have a society if we destroy the environment.
- Margaret Mead

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.
- Margaret Mead

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is more hunger for love and appreciation
in this world than for bread.
- Mother Teresa

There was a time when a man was so convinced
that the world was round
that he was determined to prove it.
- Ernest Holmes

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I dream of an Africa which is in peace with itself.
- Nelson Mandela

If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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