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Funny Mental Quotes
Funny Quotes about Mental

Let these funny Mental Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

The ability to be in the present moment
is a major component of mental wellness.
- Abraham Maslow

Stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness.
- Richard Carlson


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When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth,
so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.
To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.
To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over
the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
- Henry David Thoreau

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie


 

Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never do anything that taints your mind.
Wrong actions cause negative or evil mental vibrations
that are reflected in your whole appearance and personality.
Engage in those actions and thoughts that nurture
the good qualities you want to have.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind
a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade.
Your mind will seek to develop the picture...
Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.
- Norman Vincent Peale

The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

You can attract only that which you mentally become
and feel yourself to be in reality.
- Ernest Holmes

A mentality of scarcity - of lack -
is the natural consequence of
viewing the world through eyes of fear.
In contrast, when the world is viewed
through eyes of love,
the future becomes unlimited.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we fear the responsibility for our actions,
we have allowed ourselves to develop the mentality of slaves.
Contrary to the stirring sentiments of the Declaration of Independence,
we now pledge "our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor"
not to one another for our mutual protection, but to the state,
whose actions continue to exploit, despoil, and destroy us.
- Butler D. Shaffer

One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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