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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Take Quotes
Funny Quotes about Take

Let these funny Take Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
- Phyllis Diller

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:
take it or leave it.
- Buddy Hackett

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous


 

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
- Dave Barry

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr


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My father would take me to the playground,
and put me on mood swings.
- Jay London

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby

Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step - large and small -
with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Act with Bold Courage:
Standing in the inspiring vision of my future,
I boldly take every step -
large and small - with courage and intent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

CHOOSE your future, and take ACTION -
be the hammer, not the nail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take Action - Now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

Life is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The biggest adventure you can take is
to live the life of your dreams.
- Oprah Winfrey

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Anonymous

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone

To travel is to take a journey into yourself.
- Danny Kaye

Take charge of your life!
You are responsible to yourself - not to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With courage, you will dare to take risks,
have the strength to be compassionate,
and the wisdom to be humble.
Courage is the foundation of integrity.
- Keshavan Nair

Persevere in moving toward highly worthwhile but difficult goals.
In smaller issues, take an easier course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
- Robert Browning

Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel

I don't want to fight aging; I want to take good care of myself,
but plastic surgery and all that? I'm not interested.
- Christine Lahti

We approach people the same way we approach our cars.
We take the poor kid to a doctor and ask,
What's wrong with him, how much will it cost,
and when can I pick him up?
- James Hillman

Man does not live by soap alone; and hygiene,
or even health, is not much good unless you can take a healthy view of it or,
better still, feel a healthy indifference to it.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Even in the developing parts of the world,
kids take to computers like fish to water.
- Nicholas Negroponte

The way to have power is to take it.
- Boss Tweed

Despise the enemy strategically, but take him seriously tactically.
- Mao Tse-Tung

Never take counsel of your fears.
- Andrew Jackson

Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take responsibility for your whole life -
regardless of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.