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Let these funny Insufficient Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
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It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
One never notices what has been done;
one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
God, as Truth, has been for me a treasure beyond price.
May He be so to every one of us.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until
we have been stuck, incapacitated,
or blown off course for awhile.
- David Whyte
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill
Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man.
They die up to a point.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The highest thinkers of the ages,
the seers of the tribes and the nations,
have been optimists.
- Helen Keller
Grace has been defined as the outward expression
of the inward harmony of the soul.
- William Hazlitt
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
Education is what survives when
what has been learned has been forgotten.
- B. F. Skinner
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson
No one has been barred on account of his race
from fighting or dying for America,
there are no white or colored signs
on the foxholes or graveyards of battle.
- John F. Kennedy
Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead
To have done anything just for money
is to have been truly idle.
- Henry David Thoreau
What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
I often regret that I have spoken;
never that I have been silent.
- Publilius Syrus
I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When we quarrel, how we wish we had been blameless.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
Your innermost core has always been pure.
Purity is intrinsic to you,
it cannot be taken away.
- Osho
Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour
Like a Butterfly, I have been Reborn
with Bold Colors and Strong Wings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Footprints in the sand...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Pay attention.
Don't let resentments or pessimism answer for you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud
Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin
NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is useless for us to attempt to reason a man
out of a thing he has never been reasoned into.
- Jonathan Swift
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.