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Funny Until Quotes
Funny Quotes about Until

Let these funny Until Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

My mother was against me being an actress -
until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
- Angie Dickinson

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
- Robert Byrne


 

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography
until after they're dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill


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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

Customs do not concern themselves
with right or wrong or reason.
But they have to be obeyed;
one reasons all around them until he is tired,
but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
- Mark Twain

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Not until we are lost
do we begin to understand ourselves.
- Henry David Thoreau

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung

People don't care how much you know
until they know how much they care.
- John C. Maxwell

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson

When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his
40s shouldn't play tennis.
I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait
until I reached 50 to start again.
- Hugo Black

Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.
- George Eliot

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down -
at least he did until he dropped dead.
- Cesar Romero

Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso

I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out
of love with him or he falls out of love with you,
it keeps you together until you fall in again.
- Judith Viorst

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.
- Swami Vivekananda

War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and
dissected at least one woman.
- Honore de Balzac

It always seems impossible until its done.
- Nelson Mandela

Time and health are two precious assets that we don't
recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.
- Denis Waitley

No one knows what he can do until he tries.
- Publilius Syrus

Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb

How you think when you lose
determines how long it will be until you win.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot
be realized until personal experience has brought it home.
- John Stuart Mill

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
I can never be what I ought to be
until you are what you ought to be.
This is the interrelated structure of reality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom;
wait until they have been married longer.
- Edgar Watson Howe

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club.
You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
- Erma Bombeck

Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
- M. Scott Peck

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of
Commons until he is married.
- Benjamin Disraeli

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Until he extends the circle of
his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace.
- Albert Schweitzer

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed
that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
- Rita Rudner

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.
- Frederick Douglass

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until
he comes home and rests his head on his old,
familiar pillow.
- Lin Yutang

I just invent, then wait until man comes around to
needing what I've invented.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.
- Michelangelo

I had never been able to get a car that said how much
I cared about the environment until I drove electric.
- Alexandra Paul

A human being is not attaining his full heights until he is educated.
- Horace Mann

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think I've discovered the secret of life -
you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles M. Schulz


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.