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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Nowhere Quotes
Funny Quotes about Nowhere

Let these funny Nowhere Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Going nowhere faster will not get you somewhere.
- Alan Cohen

We climb the steps to nowhere - always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish.
Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner


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We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.
- Margaret Mead

All paths are the same, leading nowhere.
Therefore, pick a path with heart!
- Carlos Castaneda

There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu' Tao te Ching


 

However carefully we plan our future,
we are always climbing the steps to nowhere.
While it is important to our happiness
that we have an intent for our lives,
it is equally crucial to accept in advance
that we truly have no idea how our lives will turn out -
and that is good.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

Success consists of going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
(also quoted as: "Courage is going from failure to failure
without losing enthusiasm."

The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
- Joseph Campbell

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

You don't get to choose how you're going to die,
only how you're going to live.
- Joan Baez

If you go on with this nuclear arms race,
all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
- Winston Churchill

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We are tied to the ocean.
And when we go back to the sea,
whether it is to sail or to watch -
we are going back from whence we came.
- John F. Kennedy

Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy

In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you
it's going to be a butterfly.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

Where are you going? Where does your path lead?
You can never know the future, yet wandering aimlessly
is unlikely to be the source of a fulfilling life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Don't talk about what you have done
or what you are going to do.
- Thomas Jefferson

Footprints in the sand...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Pay attention.
Don't let resentments or pessimism answer for you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Is the system going to flatten you out
and deny you your humanity,
or are you going to be able to make use of the system
to the attainment of human purposes?
- Joseph Campbell

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
- Joseph P. Kennedy

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Future generations are not going to ask us
what political party were you in.
They are going to ask what did you do about it,
when you knew the glaciers were melting.
- Martin Sheen

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

The True Path is the path on which
there is no coming and no going.
- Traditional Zen Koan

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.