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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Bad Quotes
Funny Quotes about Bad

Let these funny Bad Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor


 

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer


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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic
be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- Carl Jung

I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson

Correcting bad habits cannot be done
by forbidding or punishment.
- Robert Baden-Powell (the founder of scouting)

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.
- Thomas Jefferson

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed,
easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
- Proverb

I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel

If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing either good or bad,
but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote.
- William E. Simon

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
- Milton Friedman

Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy
person has no time to form.
- Andre Maurois

Bad times have a scientific value.
These are occasions a good learner would not miss.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A good lawyer is a bad Christian.
- John Lothrop Motley

The only thing worse than a bad day is no day at all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.
- Fred Brooks

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
- Samuel Goldwyn

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

Drawing is the honesty of the art.
There is no possibility of cheating.
It is either good or bad.
- Salvador Dali

Swans sing before they die - 'twere no bad thing should
certain persons die before they sing.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are
the two most interesting food towns.
In New Orleans, they don't have a bad deli.
There's no mediocrity accepted.
- Mario Batali

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare

About morals: I know only that
what is moral is what you feel good after
and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
- Ernest Hemingway

We cannot make good news out of bad practice.
- Edward R. Murrow

Judgment comes from experience - and experience comes from bad judgment.
- Walter Wriston

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I inherited that calm from my father,
who was a farmer.
You sow, you wait for good or bad weather,
you harvest, but working is something you always need to do.
- Miguel Indurain

Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
- Leo Rosten

When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.
- Oscar Wilde

Good judgment comes from experience,
and often experience comes from bad judgment.
- Rita Mae Brown

The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.
- Ted Nelson

Nobody makes movies bad on purpose.
- Roland Emmerich

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change.
If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.
- John A. Simone, Sr.

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government
results from too much government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
- Lewis Black

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
- Cato

There is no odor so bad as that
which arises from goodness tainted.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten
percent a bad reputation.
- Henry A. Kissinger

When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad.
That's my religion.
- Abraham Lincoln

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing,
wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating;
there is really no such thing as bad weather,
only different kinds of good weather.
- John Ruskin

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Steven Wright

If you look for the bad in people
expecting to find it, you surely will.
- Abraham Lincoln

The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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