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Funny Doctors Quotes
Funny Quotes about Doctors

Let these funny Doctors Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


 

Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Gossip and complaint are the underbelly of low conversation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge -
broad, deep knowledge - is to know true ends from false,
and lofty things from low.
- Helen Keller

Religion is more than life. Remember that his own religion
is the truest to every man even if it stands low
in the scales of philosophical comparison.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard

As she passed among the hungry and the dejected,
delivering the rations and water,
she chanted in a low whisper,
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
"the spark of the mind - the sparkle of the soul" ...
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill

True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead

What you don't do can be a destructive force.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not attempt to conquer the world with force,
for force only causes resistance.
- Lao Tzu

Sense the life force -
what the Chinese call "Qi" -
radiating powerfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are the most powerful cultural force in the world.
- William J. Clinton

I am still amazed at how big, how enormous
a love and mystery God is -
and how small are the minds
that attempt to corral
this life force into rules and taboos,
cults and sects.
- Bono

The god who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time:
the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Though force can protect in emergency,
only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation
can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Today, when the winds of adversity blow strong,
redirect their force into the
service of your highest intention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

Peace cannot be kept by force;
it can only be achieved by understanding.
- Albert Einstein

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world
without having an effect on the rest of it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I would heartily welcome the union of East and West
provided it is not based on brute force.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The mind constantly chatters.
That chatter winds up being the force
that drives us much of the day in terms of what we do,
what we react to, and how we feel.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with.
Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.
- Thomas J. Watson Sr.

Faithfulness in the performance of small duties
gives us strength to adhere to difficult determinations
that life will someday force us to make.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
- Thomas Jefferson

Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism.
- Thomas Jefferson

Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light
is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

There is no evil and there are
no evil forces in the world.
There are only people of awareness,
and there are people who are fast asleep -
and sleep has no force.
The whole energy is in the hands of the awakened people.
And one awakened person can awaken the whole world.
One lighted candle can make millions of candles lighted
without losing it's light.
- Osho

USE this time of fresh beginnings.
Use it as an impetus, the force or energy toward change.
Become stronger, a better leader, more focused in your thoughts.
Exert more influence over your dreams
by bringing them closer to your thoughts, every day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Conquest is not in our principles.
It is inconsistent with our government.
- Thomas Jefferson

We must adjust to changing times
and still hold to unchanging principles.
- Jimmy Carter

Voting is an expression of three key life principles -
CHOICE, INTENT, and ACTION.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
but they whose heart is firm,
and whose conscience approves their conduct,
will pursue their principles unto death.
- Thomas Paine

"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.
- Abraham Lincoln

A people that values its privileges
above its principles
soon loses both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

In this outward and physical ceremony,
we attest once again to the inner
and spiritual strength of our Nation.
As my high school teacher, Miss Julia Coleman, used to say:
"We must adjust to changing times,
and still hold to unchanging principles."
- Jimmy Carter

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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