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Funny Wisdom Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wisdom

Let these funny Wisdom Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer


 

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll


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How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Unsolicited Advice Is Always Meddling.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You Create Your Own Reality.
- Anonymous

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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