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Let these funny Wisdom Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain 
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
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You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil
He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates
Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell
Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey
The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.
- Aristotle
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.