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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Wisdom Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wisdom

Let these funny Wisdom Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer


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You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil

He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
- Socrates

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.
- Aristotle


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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